Posted by allisonross on November 11, 2005, at 12:40:23 [reposted on November 12, 2005, at 2:31:40 | original URL]
In reply to Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart? » allisonross, posted by Dena on November 11, 2005, at 11:18:29
> Dearest Dena (love your name)Ally,
> You wrote:
> "I was voted out of a 31-year church membership (my name put up on a big screen, followed by the words: CONDUCT UNBECOMING A CHILD OF GOD...beause I got a divorce after 31 years of abuse.
> If you read my thread: I Bet You Never Heard a Story Like this, you can read what happened."
> Absolutely heartbreaking! Few things hurt worse than to be "crucified" by fellow believers...
> Something eerily similar happened to me (what? is there a script these folks follow or something?).
I, too, suffered at the hands of those I was in fellowship with. And the journey of healing has been almost as painful as the original offense...!
It's been 3 years, and I still have nightmares. But, fortunately i am SO resilient; seems nuthing gets me down (much, LOL); childhood of abuse, 31 years of abusive marriage, followed by spiritual abuse!
> I was recently led to a book that I, in turn, recommend to you: Gene Edwards wrote it (fabulous, gifted author, who writes in almost parable form): "Exquisite Agony": When Christians Hurt Other Christians.
Guess what! I read it! I copied tons of what he said; I have a 4 drawer filing cabinet FULL of books and information from the internet on spiritual abuse. There is another great website: www.wings2Fly.com.......it's about women who have been hurt in a church.
The moderator wrote to me, and said she was SO prooud of me for standing up and not letting the church re-abuse me, and then she surprised me, and said "what you did was so kick-a**!! Well, then I love it, cause I love authentic people!
> It's NOT anything you'd expect... but it's about seeing the trauma through God's perspective -- necessary, I've come to believe, for true healing.
Couple other excellent books:
When Bad Christians Happen to Good people by dave Burchett (he may use some of my poems in his next book); I can guarantee---
you will be laughing out loud on nearly every page. He signed my guestbook , also.
The other one: Messy Spirituality by Michael Yaconelli (I spoke to him on the phone, and what an authentic (one of my favorite words) man he was (he was killed last year)..
.when i told him what the deacons asked me (are you still having sex with your ex)....he said i should have asked them: "are you still master******?!
Again, I was shocked, having just met him, but then I cracked up; my therapist roared; he said that was a "classic."
> May you be blessed...
Thankyou, sweetie! It is angels like you, who bless me
P.S. Did you read my website (www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com)?
What makes the church debacle so ironic, is how I grew up, and that ucky marriage thing: LOL!
I was also published in an on-line journal: www.psychiatricjournal.com, entitled; The Transcendent Child on Overcoming Verbal and Spiritual Abuse>
> Shalom, Dena
Blessings to you, also, Dena!
Hugs n grins, Ally