Posted by Jen Star on July 23, 2005, at 21:04:39
In reply to Re: Drama triangle, posted by Dinah on July 23, 2005, at 19:54:55
hi Dinah,
I had some kids who were very mean to me in grade school, too. They would make fun of my clothes, my family's car, and the neighborhood in which we lived. They made fun of the fact that I was the best student in the class.It was only a handful of kids, but like you I remembered it as being "everyone", probably b/c there was no one who ever stuck their neck out to stand up for me. I'm sure kids were scared to be singled out themselves, and maybe felt sorry for me, but couldn't/wouldn't say anything.
But I believe that the gradeschool treatment had huge ramifications on my behavior and development into the person I am today. I'm extremely welcoming and friendly and barrier-breaking to others IRL. I think it's b/c I hated being treated as an outsider, and so I try to help outsiders fit in where I can. I'm sure there are all kinds of other things at play too but that's certainly one of them!
And maybe that's part of the reason that I am who I am on babble, whatever that is. It's so hard for me to analyze myself and my behaviors here, even though it's easy for me to make assessments of others, and probably easy for others to make assessments of ME. But it's hard to see into myself.
Anyway, I think I sometimes act as victim, sometimes as helper in the drama triangle. I think I like to TRY to be the helper, whether or not i'm actually helpful, partially based on my childhood experiences and how I tried to make myself beat that experience by being the one to help otheres, rather than the one who needs to be helped.
Thanks for bringing up the triangle idea, Dinah. Lots of food for thought there...
JenStar
poster:Jen Star
thread:530124
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050719/msgs/532412.html