Posted by Deneb on May 29, 2005, at 2:26:23
In reply to Re: I feel like doing a bad bad thing *trigger* » Deneb, posted by alexandra_k on May 28, 2005, at 20:37:12
I was so tired, but I still can't sleep! I haven't sleep much in 3 days...is this harmful for me? I went to bed at 11 cuz I was so tired...haven't slept a wink and now it is 3am. I decided I to take 1mg of my Mom's Ativan...I hope it works soon. I gotta get some freaking sleep! It's freaky how long I can go without sleep...I'm still coherent. I hope I don't go crazy from lack of sleep. Argh...I can sleep so much sometimes, now I can't sleep at all. It must be anxiety. I don't want to take another mg of Ativan...my Mom only has 3 doses left (mostly taken by me...my Mom is very weary of taking drugs...she threw up many times after accidentally taking 2mg of Ativan instead of 1mg.) I need to sleep!...But I can't oversleep...I have to go for training tomorrow (even though I don't get paid to do so....which kind of sucks since I'll be training several hours each day of this week I think...apparently my uncle has to PAY this guy to train him (my uncle), me and his wife). Maybe I should take 0.5mg more...I'm still not sleepy...just really freaking tired.
I'm glad I finally made an appt. with my family doctor, maybe she'll give me something for sleep...my p-doc never gave me anything for sleep. Maybe she's anti-med or something. I haven't seem my family doc in years, I wonder how it will go? Apparently she still asks my Mom about me when my Mom goes in for appts. I don't like this...she could easily break confidence and tell my Mom something I don't want her to know. She can do this without *actually* breaking confidence...I'm sure. I hate having to see her...she rambles on and on about things. I hate that she speaks Cantonese because then she can tell my Mom things in a way that makes her understand the "gravity" of my situation. I hope she doesn't or that if she does my Mom will go into denial again.
What the heck, I'll take that extra 0.5. I think it might be expired...maybe it's lost some potency. I know it's not tolerance, I don't take it often at all...it has lasted like one year.
I just know I won't be able to sleep if I just lie in bed...it just does the opposite it seems. I need to get my eyes good and tired. Maybe I'll play some minesweeper or something.
poster:Deneb
thread:503343
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050525/msgs/504569.html