Posted by Deneb on May 28, 2005, at 18:19:21
In reply to Re: I feel like doing a bad bad thing *trigger* » Deneb, posted by Larry Hoover on May 28, 2005, at 16:51:15
There is no quiet in my house. I need to be alone, but people always come. My Mom is always home. My little cousins have been coming over every day. My uncle is forcing me to work at his restaurant. I haven't been able to sleep for 3 days.
There is no quiet. I need to be alone. It is too overwhelming for me. I'm so sad right now. I'm getting headaches from being stressed. I want to take my Mom's Tylenol 3's to feel better. I wish I could press pause. I can't take much stress. My cousins finally decided to leave and now I can cry upstairs. My Mom is watching Chinese tapes. She will be home all the time. I need to be alone so I can cry and rest. I'm such a selfish person, I don't even want my Mom around. I have to go for training tomorrow at my uncle's restaurant, I don't want to but I have to. I can't OD and get sick because I have to work there. I can't die because my family needs me right now. I hate this so much...there is no where to go. I hope I die tonight in my sleep...no guilt.
Sorry about being a downer again...I actually thought I was going to be able to keep it together this time. I seriously hope I will learn to get myself under control...I still do want to have an adventure and travel. I remember how excited I was. Anyways, I'm going to have to hope I don't break down or anything...ride through this. I wish for some peace.
jenny
poster:Deneb
thread:503343
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050525/msgs/504349.html