Posted by sunny10 on February 10, 2005, at 11:20:02
In reply to Can I live with or without her?? » Susan47, posted by jay on February 9, 2005, at 15:48:53
I just need to take a moment and caution both of you. No one can affect a change in someone else.
(I realize that all I say here is self-learned and that I am not the same person as you, but I have also read this in numerous books and articles. Okay, disclaimer made, read on if you wish)Either of you can be the best, sweetest, kindest, most wonderful-in-every-way people, but if the other person is not able to let that in, all of your goodness will not make a difference in their lives and I'm afraid you might feel worse about yourselves.
Sorry to sound like a wet blanket, but all of us need to be secure in ourselves.
Jay, I'm not saying that you two cannot work on your issues separately, but as a couple. I have to say, I am a HUGE proponent of actually discussing this in detail as a couple. If the discussion doesn't work a relationship won't work. If the discussion does work, then you will know where you stand with her, and she with you.
Best of luck,
sunny10
poster:sunny10
thread:453999
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050205/msgs/455852.html