Posted by Angel Girl on January 13, 2005, at 10:36:00
In reply to Re: strength, posted by trucker on January 12, 2005, at 14:55:42
trucker
I'm sorry that you have had your childhood stolen from you and the type of mother that you had but it is good that you were able to stay strong. I also come from a childhood of molestation from a family member and an attempted rape by a stranger when I was only 8. Unlike you, I am weak. My mother was unaware of my molestation and still is today so she did not enable mine. I don't understand why a mother such as yours who says she didn't want you, why she didn't give you up for adoption instead of keeping you and putting you through a childhood of hell. I will never understand that. I will also never understand the mentality of someone who says that a 3 yr old brings on and is to be blamed for being raped. What kind of mentality is that? I hope you know that it is NOT your fault. You were an innocent child. It pains me to hear that your horrors continued into your adulthood. I see nothing wrong with you keeping your guard up. You have a lot to work out in therapy. Instead it is hard to let your guard down. It is a protection mechanism.
{{{{{{{{{{{{trucker}}}}}}}}}}}}}
AG
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> my strength comes from abuse and the LORD giving me what i needed to survive in the situation i was in. she figured since i was out of the sexaul abuse and physical abuse that i didn't need it any more. that i was too agressive in my ways. that i needed to DROP my gaurd. i am one rather than worring about something i confront that monster and get it over with. NOT violently unless that is the situation that i am in(violence). you don't want to be strong how i became strong. i knew (by my mothers mouth) that she didn't want me, (she had been taking birth control) and she reinforced it always, and she enabled the sexaul abuse and then after i was raped at three years old she would beat me cause "I BROUGHT IT ON MYSELF" she knew all the time. and as long as you were a boy child she would treat you well but us girls were abused and it would take me years to tell ya where i came from!! childhood is non exsistant in my life. i went straight to adult HORRORS.
>
> trucker
poster:Angel Girl
thread:430684
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050106/msgs/441567.html