Posted by Angel Girl on January 4, 2005, at 16:04:11
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name? » Angel Girl, posted by trucker on January 1, 2005, at 18:40:18
> what meds are you on?? my memory stinks too! i have this same anger too. my is at all things i think. plus the change is knocking on my door. i get angry because of the things that could of been so different if i would of had the parently guidance that i was supposed to have. and the protection. i am on a roller coaster of sorts with that. i8 am inteligent. and i could of made something special of myself had i not had to fight to surrvive and be an adult at 3 years old. i didn't get to be a child and i wasn't taught the things i needed to live.. i am self taught in all things. i was never alloud friends (because they might find out and tell the law)and now i don't know how to make and keep them. esp when they find out my history of childhood horrors. i agree with you that you should look for a T. one who cares about you... and preferably the same sex.. men seem to have a way of taking advantage of you when you are vulnerable. i been that route and he got me selling drugs and hooked on drugs and added to the trouble. he just died.
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> trucker
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trucker
I can hear the tears in your words. You are very wounded. I hope that you have a T that is compassionate and gentle with you. You have a lot of childhood memories that need healing and that will take some time. I agree that a female T would be good for you. My T is female for the same reasons (childhood memories). I'm sorry for your loss but pardon my insensitivity, I think you are better off without this person in your life. I hope that comment does not upset or offend you. I'm sorry that you were denied a normal childhood and friends. I can understand why you would have a hard time making friends and keeping them now. Maybe you don't need to be so open with new friends and tell them your past. Would that help you to maintain friendships? I too, have a hard time making and keeping friends. Abandonment is one of my issues. You say that you are angry at everything, that would be me too lately. I seem to anger very easily, where before I would be the one who would not want to start conflict and keep the peace. These days it does not take much to ignite me. I had to make some apologies today to a couple of people, my pharmacist and my pdoc's receptionist. The jury is still out on how my pdoc will handle this situation with me when I see her for my next appt on Thursday. I can't remember if I mentioned before but I am BPII and PTSD from my childhood. I am assuming by what you write that you are the same?
My meds are:
Tegretol -- 200mg bid (hoping to increase by 100mg daily)
Effexor XR -- 150mg AM/75mg PM
Wellbutrin SR -- 100mg daily (hoping to increase by 100mg daily)
Klonopin -- .5mg bid
Xanax -- .5mg 4Xdaily (or as required, which may be less)My losing my composure with the pharmacist and Pdoc's receptionist was over trying to get the increases that I have stated above. I thought these were very simple increases but apparently not. I didn't even get a renewal of my current dosage. I will have to see what my pdoc says about them on Thursday.
Obviously the Tegretol isn't doing anything to help with stabilization of my moods and it doesn't seem to matter how much AD I take, my depression keeps worsening. I really don't know what to do meds-wise at this point. The only thing that does work for me is Xanax. It is a Godsend. Now if only I can find out how to either avoid stress or handle it without taking the Xanax.
So, what meds are you on? Do you have a female T?
{{{{{{{{{{{trucker}}}}}}}}}}}
AG
poster:Angel Girl
thread:430684
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041226/msgs/437726.html