Posted by 64bowtie on December 5, 2004, at 5:36:53
In reply to Am I foolin' myself by being here?, posted by 64bowtie on December 4, 2004, at 1:11:00
> (((Dinah))),
> I KNOW you have plenty to offer us besides your coaching skills. Share those things with us?
>Just MHO. Ok, I lie. My opinion is only rarely humble. :D<<< Are you saying you would like to hear more about my vast knowledge of carburetors…..lol? I get the message, you humble person you….. I can be Rod the guy more, and Rod the Warrior-Coach less……….
> partlycloudy,
> Rod, I agree with Dinah that this would be a great approach so we get to know you better as a person.
<<< I’m workin’ on that. Let’s work on that together….> ShortE
> For that reason, I hope you'll stick around.
<<< …like velcro
> Tabitha
> Hi Rod, I do appreciate that you want to talk about wellness and things you did that helped you. It helps to balance things out. If I read a whole board full of problems, I can start to feel hopeless. But I pretty much agree with Dinah. Going into coaching mode with people isn't always appreciated. A lot of times posters are just wanting support for their current feelings and struggles, and it can lead to hurt feelings on both sides when you offer the unsolicited coaching stuff. >
<<< I’m working on doing better at this one…
> Also, I pretty much believe each person's healing and growth is unique. What works for one may not work for another, or it may work at some time in life but not another. Sometimes I get the idea you are telling people that they need to use the same ideas you did, and they need to do it right now. I get uncomfortable with that.>
<<< Seems reasonable that your impressions that I am demanding or requiring anybody to do anything would leave you uncomfortable. I never intend to be that anal. That said, your concerns alert me to the fact that I need to talk about myself more, and anybody else less.
> Rod you said you are frustrated with yourself that you didn't get better sooner. I feel that way myself-- every time I experience some growth, my first reaction is to kick myself for not getting there sooner. You know something? That's not helpful. It's just some useless self-criticism. I should be patting myself on the back for getting to a new place, not kicking myself for not getting there sooner. >
<<< Yes… I should be patting myself on my back instead of torturing and tormenting myself over past failures. Thanks for the reminder…
> The reason I brought it up was I was wondering if you might be taking out some of your frustration with yourself for not "getting it" sooner by trying to push other people to "get it" before they're ready. Do you think that could be happening? >
<<< What is “ready”? My knowledge os salesmanship is that a saleman is most effective when he focusses on convincing customers that, “It’s OK to buy that product today.” …and, “ Today is a good day to acquire that product!” ...to convince customers that really are "ready" to acquire the product. Seems salesmen accept denial-and-indecision much more widely than the mental health industry. They make it their business to overcome denial-and-indecision as a matter of course in their sales carreers. Customers who can’t decide to buy today won’t help the salesman’s paycheck. So they roll up their sleeves and go right to the point. They overcome customer indecision. Some indecision is healthy. Gives us time to assemble the information we think we require. …and some sales techniques are ruthless and suck!
1. I throw some stuff out looking for more info
2. I also might have seen a poster’s concern before
3. Sometimes I’m just curious…so I am not maliscious when I make observations and suggestions. Perhaps now I have learned a more appropriate way to post at Babble because of this thread. Perhaps…
> Anyway, I've seen you modify your style here before, and I admire that you're looking at yourself again and asking for feedback. That takes a lot of guts. >
<<< Thank you, thank you, thank you!
…So my 25 feet of intestines ARE actually useful to me after all…. Hmmmmm………lol<<< I may joke but I am grateful for your post!
> Cass
> ...but I'm curious how you found wellness. Sorry if I missed something important that you wrote. I know you've posted about 12 step programs. Is that what you're referring to?
><<< Please look for a more complete post about wellness... coming soon...
> Dinah
> of my proposed experiment. From what I've seen, your new-threads are rarely taken wrong, right? >
<<< I suppose I sense so many of the social imperatives don’t necessarilly apply to new threads. However, I am still instigating discussion……. Mostly.
> I've been thinking about your words to me. They bring up a lot of feelings that I don't want to hijack your thread with. After due consideration, I think Psychological Babble might be the best place for it, because it has to do with what I've learned in therapy as well as my relationship with my therapist. I'll give you complete freedom to respond as either Rod. >
<<< Sounds good to me... I am post a whole thingy to you... (on psych board)
> And I'll do my best to understand what you're really saying in your reply, and I hope you'll do your best to understand what I'm saying in my post. Because often I think we may be more or less in agreement, but we use such different languages that it might be difficult to grasp that. >
<<< I speak and think in English, even when I am dancing in Bulgarian or Swedish…lol No-but-seriously, I will continue to upgrade and adapt…. Because I can….
> By the way, I'll assume that you meant even MORE graciousness rather than graciousness where previously graciousness was lacking. :) >
<<< “new graciousness” was an implicate statement that you may have become more gracious than your previous graciousness… I’m just glad to know ya’, sweetie… no matter what!
> Gabbix2
<<< I find a need to give your post a better response. It’s coming next here at social.
> Susan47
> Your story is a good one and we all need to hear what you have to say. Whether we like it or not, and I know we don't, always. But why is it wrong to say what you have to offer, and share that, just because we don't always understand it? Your voice is a good one, albeit sometimes difficult for me to understand, sometimes even impossible. But I want your voice here. Without your voice, Babble would lose some of its character. Honestly. You make me think, and that's important for everybody. Like it or not. >
<<< I’ll be here unless the Universe conspires against us all….
<<< To all, thanks so much for your patience and under standing...
Rod
poster:64bowtie
thread:424236
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041202/msgs/424602.html