Posted by Tabitha on December 4, 2004, at 13:25:35
In reply to Am I foolin' myself by being here?, posted by 64bowtie on December 4, 2004, at 1:11:00
Hi Rod, I do appreciate that you want to talk about wellness and things you did that helped you. It helps to balance things out. If I read a whole board full of problems, I can start to feel hopeless. But I pretty much agree with Dinah. Going into coaching mode with people isn't always appreciated. A lot of times posters are just wanting support for their current feelings and struggles, and it can lead to hurt feelings on both sides when you offer the unsolicited coaching stuff.
Also, I pretty much believe each person's healing and growth is unique. What works for one may not work for another, or it may work at some time in life but not another. Sometimes I get the idea you are telling people that they need to use the same ideas you did, and they need to do it right now. I get uncomfortable with that.
Rod you said you are frustrated with yourself that you didn't get better sooner. I feel that way myself-- every time I experience some growth, my first reaction is to kick myself for not getting there sooner. You know something? That's not helpful. It's just some useless self-criticism. I should be patting myself on the back for getting to a new place, not kicking myself for not getting there sooner.
The reason I brought it up was I was wondering if you might be taking out some of your frustration with yourself for not "getting it" sooner by trying to push other people to "get it" before they're ready. Do you think that could be happening?
Anyway, I've seen you modify your style here before, and I admire that you're looking at yourself again and asking for feedback. That takes a lot of guts.