Posted by merry on November 18, 2004, at 15:19:17
In reply to Dogs Cats and all that stuff, posted by stresser on November 18, 2004, at 12:00:17
I was wondering where everyone went. I was reading your post,kat, and you made me cry. I always had a struggle about my parenting skills. I adopted my stepson when he was eight years old. He was being raised by his father and grandparents. I had two daughters of my own when I married this boy's father. We became a stepfamily. This wonderful boy became a big brother to six and three year old sisters. He didn't want the position. He became angry and depressed. This little boy had epilepsy. He started to act out at me and my daughters. He made it hard to get close to him. He closed himself up. But I kept trying. I took care of him when he had his seizures, I was with him all the time at the doc visits and the eegs appts. I made sure he took his meds on time. I hugged him even when he pushed me away. I told him I loved him even when he called me a liar. I cried at night because I thought I could never reach him.
This went on for years. There were times when I was afraid to sleep at night because I felt he would kill me while I slept. He was an angry, troubled,young man. He was seeing a pdoc by age 13. The meds helped. By age 16 he got involved in drugs and alcohol and by then I thought I lost him for sure. He dropped out of school and ran away from home. I never gave up on him. But I couldn't help thinking that some how it was my fault. In some way, I could of done something more. I could of done something better, differently. I blamed myself. Maybe,I didn't love him enough because he wasn't my flesh and blood. Maybe,I didn't show him love like I showed my girls and also his new baby brother. I struggled with him and with my illness and my daughter's depression, which I also blamed on myself. It is so hard being a parent. But in the end, He came back to me. He cleaned up. He went back to school. He said sorry to me. He said THANK YOU to me for everything I ever done for him. He said he LOVED me. He said I was the best MOM any one could ever ask for. He is now a thriving healthy member of the community. Married and has a daughter of his own. I am proud of my son. It was hard raising him but it was worth it.Now I am sruggling with my 14yr old daughter and her depression. she just got suspended from school for 5 days for fighting. She is angry too. She takes it out on others. Heaven help me....
merry
poster:merry
thread:416940
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041114/msgs/417541.html