Posted by saw on November 18, 2004, at 3:01:58
In reply to Re: May I join in?, posted by bridgey1128 on November 17, 2004, at 14:59:32
Hi Bridgey
Ok, now I have a habit of writing too quickly and spewing thoughts out before they make sense. So I must try to do this slowly. Sloowwlly!
My son is on Ritalin in the morning only taking 10 mg before school and 5 mg mid morning. I have requested his teacher to give the mid morning just before the end of school as I noticed how his homework time was suffering. Or rather how he was suffering through his homework! It isn’t a very high dosage but it has helped tremendously with his school work. A little bit (wee tiny bit) of his excessive crying only began when he started Ritalin. I will mention this to his doctor when I have him assessed in the New Year. It does concern me a bit that he sometimes appears to be uncontrollably sad. He complains of headaches as well. Other than that, there have been no adverse effects.
Now about the crying. I am relieved to hear he is not the only one. My husband tends to think he IS just a baby and is emotionally immature. I will be reading your post to him later. I yell too much, and way too much at him and I don’t know how not to. It is uncontrollable for me and just bursts out. I can see in his eyes how my yelling at him hurts him. Sending him to his room simply does not work. He screams louder and will not budge. If I physically take him to his room, he keeps coming out. I even resorted to locking his door once. He is very confrontational and I am ashamed to admit that he wins time and time again. I keep telling myself I will not be drawn into an argument with him and that I will withdraw myself from the situation only to find us in the middle of a shouting match. He is afraid of his father (my second husband, I do not acknowledge his biological father as anything remotely that) but not of me. My frustration level is at an all time high.
For behaviour modification and also just to help him focus, we implemented a chart system. It details every little chore from waking up and brushing teeth to “Did I tell a lie today?” He is rewarded with a set amount of money that he will be opening his own bank account with. If he loses more than 5 points on a day, no smiley sticker and no money on that day. If he gets all his smiley stickers for the week, he gets a crown sticker because “he is the king of my castle” and another small amount of money. (He has more money than me at the moment). He responded very well to the chart and on a good day tries his absolute best to get full marks. Just this morning he was dressed and ready for school without one single “please hurry up my boy” from me. On the other hand, the chart can cause stress too. If he doesn’t get a sticker or a crown, he ………. wait for it …….. cries! I simply remind him that he is responsible for his own actions and he is responsible for the outcome on the chart. (I can mail you the chart to look at if you like. Let me know).
It is so hard for us to understand that a little task for him is not so little. When he was first diagnosed, we had such a chuckle when we sent him upstairs to fetch something and by the time he got up the stairs, he had forgotten the request and was playing happily in his room!
GAD is generalized anxiety disorder. For me, this with major depressive disorder and probably bipolar II has been crippling. I don’t even want to think about the long term effects on my son. He will grow up remembering Mom always feeling sick. I started Effexor in August and while it helped initially, the side effects became too many. The weight gain was and still is a monumental problem for me. I have just started Lamictal and am feeling ok. He noticed the change when I first started taking Effexor. He said to my Mom, “mommy’s tummy must be better because she doesn’t cry so much anymore”.
I am chuckling about the clean house. When my son (dude from now on ok?) was a baby, you could have eaten off my floors. (Touch of mania). I could not stop cleaning. I have lightened up over the years and spend more time and energy worrying about the dust and dishes that actually doing anything about them. I try to keep my dude’s room tidy and uncluttered because this does help him but I sometimes feel like giving up when he doesn’t put things back where they belong.
I’m a dog and reptile (we have snakes) person. We have 2 big dogs and one sleeps with dude. So there is forever dog hair all over the house. I would also be offended if anyone tells me my house smells of my pets. We love our pets and they bring us much joy. They are children to us so actually they are saying “your house sticks of kids”
Oh, and those snakes, they’re in my sitting room.I have so much to learn and so much to correct myself on with regards to parenting. I wish I could get into dude’s head for a day to understand what he really feels.
Sabrina
poster:saw
thread:416940
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041114/msgs/417307.html