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Dear diary May 3

Posted by Ilene on May 3, 2004, at 21:58:52

In reply to Dear diary May 2, posted by Ilene on May 2, 2004, at 21:08:55

Sometimes keeping a diary is tiresome. Every day, I have to think of something to say. Aliens landed today. I'm a paragon of stability compared to every one of other Babblers. I never tell a lie.

The point is to have keep a record of how I feel, and secondly what I've been up.

I got to bed earlier (about 11) but I didn't sleep well, and I woke up at about 5:30 AM. It got cold overnight, and stayed cool and rainy all day. I'd rather have it cool, but I like it when I can leave the dishes in the drainer and they dry by themselves. It was so damp today that the dishes didn't want to get dry. I hate drying them with a cloth.

I did a couple of chores I've been putting off, but I'm still procrastinating about a couple of things. Legal stuff having to do with my father's estate.

I was anxious in the afternoon, but for only a couple of hours. I was looking at a picture of a fashion model and the thought of my 50th birthday (this month) intruded. I'm having a hard time dealing with being middle aged. Maybe it was that, maybe I had too much coffee, maybe it was the aliens...who knows?

Anyway, it lasted only a couple of hours. I hate the feeling of being okay, more or less, and then being not-okay, and not knowing how to deal with it, or if it's going to stop, or if it means I'm going downhill again.

I was supposed to go to the thrift store with a friend, but she didn't call until way late. I thought she had forgotten, or was just blowing me off, but she had just gotten home late. It was drippy all day today, anyway--not the best day to haul donations into the store. We've rescheduled for tomorrow.

It's strange--I'll be doing things around the house, and something will strike me as interesting, and I'll think, "I'll put that in my diary", but by the time I come to write it down I'll have forgotten it.


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