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Dear diary April 29

Posted by Ilene on April 29, 2004, at 21:28:53

In reply to Dear diary April 28, posted by Ilene on April 28, 2004, at 22:15:30

I think it's interesting how many people read my diary. So much of it is "put on my pants...put on my shoes...bitched and moaned about something irrelevant...felt depressed...felt anxious" No literary merit whatsoever.

My husband says our daughter is depressed. I'm actually glad she's not on IM tonight. I don't want her to be depressed--one of my worst fears--and I don't want to be supportive mom. How can I tell her it'll all work out when it doesn't?

I'm having an easier time, due to Klonopin. I feel guilty about taking it, of course, but f**k it.

My good friend, the one who visited for 2 weeks, is coming back next week for a couple of days! Oh boy! Then I go to SF for a week. Feeling nervous about that. On Monday I was sure I couldn't do it. I have more confidence now.

Listening to the Bangles.

Maybe I'll even have enough confidence to call the realtor tomorrow.

Managed to struggle into consciousness at about 9. Swallowed my "take on an empty stomach" pill, read for an hour. Mostly Time magazine.

I'm not as fat as I was, but I'm not as thin (so to speak) as I was before that. Down to 162.

Woke up depressed and anxious. Klonopin helped. I said that already, didn't I? Took a second dose at about 5 PM, so I'm still okay, pretty much. Remembering that *not* worrying will be uncomfortable.

Saw lots of birds--a red belly, a goldfinch, some native sparrow, a gray and yellow bird that I couldn't recognize (might have been a goldfinch seen from above).

Didn't accomplish much of my stated goal--get things in the car to take to charity--but I did some sewing. Repaired a dress and made a storage bag. Now I want to do some more sewing.

I tried to change my profile so I'll show up on PB Open as "me", but it doesn't seem to have worked. I like Open, but I can see how a person could spend too much time there.


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040422/msgs/341523.html