Posted by karen_kay on May 3, 2004, at 21:04:54
In reply to What do friends do?, posted by fallsfall on May 3, 2004, at 15:14:50
((((falls)))) my dear. my friends and i talk. my closst friends, that i have known for years and years, talk about therapy and how it's going. they tell me about their sex lives, or lack thereof. they tell me about their new puppies or tattoos. they tell me everything. but, those are my closest friends that i have known for years.
my 'newer' friends and i talk. we play pool. we talk about books we have read. we don't come right out and discuss boundaries, as most people know and respect those. i have one 'newer' friend who i found out is also dx with bipolar disorder. i found out recently that when i was down she was too. however, she didn't stop by. since she was a 'newer' friend, she had her own support system, as did i. but when she did stop by later and asked how i was doing, we talked. i found out she jumped out of a moving vehicle. i felt bad for not being there for her, but she also had her own support system in place. she gave me tips on how to get through, and i gave her tips as well. we talked and drank sodas. it helped. later that week, we had a picnic on her porch. that helped bring me out of my funk.
since i'm a college student, i can make friends in class. i usually don't approach people, but they approach me. perhaps if you feel up to it, you can take an art class, or play cards, or join a political party and help there. there are many ways to volunteer or get involved and with your beautiful personality, i guarantee people will approach you falls. and you can start slow. having coffee at your house, or there's or a coffee shop. or playing cards or board games. that's always fun.
since you work at the library, are there regulars who you find interesting? or that read the same books you do? you can start there and shyly say that you really liked that book or the author. that's a start.
i understand what you are saying dear about being pulled into depression by being surrounded by it. but, in my personal experience, i've found that i've been upllifted by being here. i'm not arguing with you in any way, please don't get me wrong darling, and i do completely see your point. i think it's very important to find that balance between discussions of depression and other things as well. when i talk to my friends, i don't just talk abuut the gloom and doom. we talk about happy things as well. when we talk, we always end on a happy note. that's very important to me and them as well. and sometimes we talk about the sour points of life, but that's not nearly as much as we talk about the finer points. if it's rough to find them, we can always make them up. the flowers, a book, something on tv, a film, coffee, how beautiful we are... they are there, it sometimes just takes some searching to find them.
((((falls))))) my sweet, perhaps you can try reading nacey drew for a while. or sheldon smith? try something like that as well. you shouldn't have any problems making friends dear. you're so wonderful people should be flocking to you. don't worry about making friends. just find that balance between therapy and you dear. you are wonderful, let everyone know it. we see it here.
poster:karen_kay
thread:342902
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040430/msgs/343031.html