Posted by deirdrehbrt on February 26, 2004, at 17:59:12
In reply to Re: Sometimes I hate therapy. » deirdrehbrt, posted by rs on February 25, 2004, at 19:21:12
Well, still down, but at least I'm safe. I've been dissociating for most of the day, and limited my time downtown to things I needed to do. I have my little one (daughter) here tonight. We've been working on a science project growing crystals. I had her start keeping a laboratory notebook to start getting her used to the scientific method. It will also teach her how to know what things are important when taking notes.
I've been really drifting in and out of various states of consciousness; sometimes feeling little, sometimes feeling far away, sometimes feeling completely disconnected from the world. I've come to realize that this sort of thing happens when there is something important to remember percolating up to the surface. It's scary, because it's usually something that's going to hurt. It's much better though, in the long run to just let it happen, try not to dwell on the part that hurts, and deal with that with my therapist.
I guess I'm saying that I'm still depressed, but I'm doing what I can to stay safe. I'm working on accepting things reasonably, that is I know I was hurt, but being angry, denying my past, hurting myself more, all of these things won't help. They still happen, but I can at least recognize that they aren't helpfull.
I'm so glad that you are all here, you've been a great help. It's nice to have people who have experienced some of the same things. It's nice to be able to exchange ideas with people who see where I am and not think I'm nuts. (I suppose, to some eyes, I am nuts, but that's their problem.) I can enjoy being nuts, but don't have to feel like I am.
Well, that's today's update.
Dee.
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:317276
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040219/msgs/318011.html