Posted by deirdrehbrt on February 4, 2004, at 21:29:57
In reply to Social Darwinism... » 8 Miles, posted by Racer on February 4, 2004, at 20:33:33
Ok,I think I'll ad my two cents worth.
I was bullied mercilessly from second or third grade through high-school. This included verbal and physical abuse which reached its height when I was picked up and thrown across a locker room, landed on my butt and broke my tailbone.
Being a good victim, I didn't tell teachers, didn't go to a doctor, and just suffered until it healed in the wrong position. I realized what had happened only later, when X-rays revealed that, along with some other injuries.
I guess what I'm expecting my example to show is that those of us who suffer abuse regularly develop a habit of enabling that abuse by remaining silent. It's not our fault, it's necessary to survive, or at least it seems to be. One might think "Oh my god! They did this to me when they were happy, what will they do when they are mad at me?"
We become very good at recognizing who the people who are going to hurt us are. We think we can predict what behavior on our part will cause them to hurt us. We modify our behavior in such a way that we think we are safer.
Perhaps some of the behaviors and reactions we have, having been abused (I think bullying is too weak a word. It's just juvenile abuse.) probably can be interpreted as SA. We are hyper-vigilant. We can be extremely anxious if we detect someone who could be an abuser, even if we can't name our fear. Perhaps social anxiety includes people such as us in it's umbrella. I only know the way I feel in a crowd is very much influenced by the type of crowd. If I'm in a room with lots of guys drinking beer and watching football, I'm scared, at least unless I know them all very well. I don't like bars. I don't like men coming toward me on sidewalks.
I don't think I have SA, but I do have behaviors that are the result of things that happened over 30 years ago.
Dee.
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:308985
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040131/msgs/309543.html