Psycho-Babble Social | for general support | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: Reality or perception? » Karen_kay

Posted by Penny on February 4, 2004, at 13:28:31

In reply to Reality or perception?, posted by Karen_kay on February 4, 2004, at 12:47:20

(((Karen Kay)))

You're in school, right? (Sorry if I'm mistaken) - what is your major? Because you should seriously consider philosophy. Not that it will earn you a living at some point in the future, but b/c you would be good at it! But that's merely a side note (philosophy was my second major in college).

I have asked myself (why am I saying 'have' - I still do!) these same questions - and I don't know what to believe anymore! I do think, however, that if folks are sooooo certain that their version of 'the almighty truth' is the ONLY right answer, they are fooling themselves.

I do think reality is perceived. I think that anything (and I mean anything) can be argued against - anything 'truth' can be challenged. May not be challenged very convincingly, but if someone wants to believe something, even something incorrect, he/she will.

As for our 'truths' about ourselves - therapists (most of them, anyway!) tell us that we should be telling ourselves good things about ourselves - we should believe we are attractive, good, kind, caring, intelligent, and so on. Not to the extreme that it becomes narcissistic, but, considering that most of us think the exact opposite about ourselves, that's not usually a problem.

Are you a nice person? I think so. But that's my impression of you. Does it make it so? Of course not - I'm judging your 'niceness' based on my interaction with you here. Someone else might have a different impression (though I doubt it, judging by the posts you receive from others).

What do you think, Karen, would qualify you as a 'nice' person?

I wonder the same thing about myself. I mean, I used to mentor children, in college and before I moved. I've rescued quite a few animals. I babysit and folks trust me with their young children. I try to not intentionally hurt someone else's feelings - I try to not unintentionally hurt someone else's feelings too!

But am I 'nice'? I'm sure that would depend on who you ask. Have I gotten drawn into petty bickering before? Of course. Have I made of fun of other people? I'm ashamed to say so, but yes. Not to the person's face, but behind his/her back, which might be even worse. Not to mention that, having been picked on, teased and bullied in school, and knowing how bad it feels to be the odd man out, so to speak, I did it anyway. Do I still, even today, see people sometimes on the street and think, "OMG - what is wrong with her?" or "She really needs to do something about that..." Not that I would ever say those things to someone's face, or even say them to someone I was with about the person on the street, but it doesn't prevent me from thinking them.

So, does that mean I'm not 'nice'? Maybe so - but what I think is that NONE of us - well, maybe Mother Teresa was an exception, though I don't know too much about her and she's not living anymore - is ALWAYS 100% nice. Neither are ANY of us 100% mean. We're all some mixture of good and evil, like it or not - we all experience jealousy at times, we have all said things we regret at times, and the best we can do, Karen, is to learn from those things and try to move on and not repeat the same mistakes. Or find a personal level of 'not-niceness' that you're comfortable with - don't have a problem with thinking bad things about the crazy driver who's holding up traffic? So be it - I don't mind. Even if that driver is me (not that it would be... :-)

As for beauty - I'm sure there are some rare people who nearly everyone on the planet would agree is beautiful (we're just talking about looks here). But most of us are normal looking. And even some of us who are considered 'beautiful' aren't to everyone - I still don't think Brooke Shields was/is that pretty, even though she was considered to be, and I guess still is.

But, if you think you're gorgeous, who's to disagree? If you flaunt it, you might get some public disagreement, but if you truly believe it, you won't care, will you? If you know that it is true FOR YOU that you are gorgeous, then who cares what so-and-so thinks? And if you believe it and so-and-so doesn't, it doesn't mean one of you is right and the other is wrong - it simply means you have differing opinions. But when it comes to what you think of YOU - what YOU think is the only thing that really matters. You have to live with yourself everyday - so you need to like yourself at the least. (I can't practice what I'm preaching, tho', so don't ask me to - I personally find myself disgusting and loathing more often than not.)

Of course, there are other issues that we could get into - morals, cultural norms, etc., but, in general, as long as you're not hurting other people, even if you're not helping them either, you're probably 'safe' as far as morals go. That's a long drawn-out discussion that could bring a great deal of dissent among the babble masses I'm sure, but ultimately, IMHO, as long as you're not hurting other people intentionally, and avoiding hurting them unintentionally, you probably have nothing to worry about.

As long as you're comfortable with your own level of 'niceness', that is.

P


Share
Tweet  

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Social | Framed

poster:Penny thread:309326
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040131/msgs/309355.html