Posted by Karen_kay on January 5, 2004, at 22:14:05
In reply to Re: Still ranting, posted by socialdeviantjeff on January 5, 2004, at 20:29:57
> It's very true that I tend to be judgemental about people who appear normal.
*How do you mean? As in, the way they dress, their attire? I have a story for you (if you don't mind :) I have this friend. She complains endlessly about how people judge her based on her appearance. I'd say she "looks" like a dirty hippie. She has dreadlocks, wears the same clothes for days, ect. Now, I had a party and my other friends came over who "look" like punk rockers. (And if you saw me you'd think I'd keep strange company, because I don't "dress" any certain way :) Now, my boyfriend invited his friends as well, who what my friend (the "hippie") referred to as "trust-fund kids." I just looked at her at stared. All the times she called me crying because people judged her based on her appearance and she had the nerve to judge these nice people based on their clothing! Hmm?? She just didn't get it, but I imagine one day she will. I just didn't have the heart to tell her. (BTW, I don't like labeling people like hippie or punk rocker, but it helps to have a mental image :)You can't tell how together someone has it by what they are wearing or how "normal" they appear. I promise. I'd send you a pic of me. I appear very normal, but I promise, I'm not. :)
The pathology of this behavior is very long, and would require a long time to explain. Lately, I've been finding myself glaring random people down in the street, playing out some sort of psychic battle with them. Especially since my meds have reduced my anxiety. It's a dangerous behavior, but I can't seem to stop it.
>*Why do you feel the need to glare at random strangers? Personally, I love strangers... Seriously! I can't go grocery shopping because I feel it is my obligation to be a "princess" (And this is NO joke here!!) and smile and make everyone happy! When I go to the grocery, I like to smile at the old men. And some of them actually get it! I can't use a cart (b/c I'm frightened of them...long story), so if I have to get a few items, I have to make repeated trips. But, when I go to the grocery, I feel like it is my duty to make everyone's shopping trip (stranger's) a great one. So, I have a smile on my face the whole time. And some people seem to get it. And some of the men wink (I just adore that!).. Maybe you are my nemesis, or my lesson. Or we are here to teach eachother something! Strange!
> It seems your coping mechanism is better than mine! self-maintenance and appearances aren't my strong suit.
*Hmm, better, I'd say not. More passive maybe but I wouldn't say better. I suffer with quite a bit of anxiety due to it. And my teeth are ground down from my jaw being clenched so tight. I smoke 2.5 packs of cigarettes a day and chew 2 packs of gum a day, still use a pacifier and suck my thumb. And, if I don't have fake nails, my fingers bleed because I chew them down to the cuticle. That's how my anxiety I suffer with. Yet, when my therapist asks how I'm doing I smile and say, "Oh, I'm great!!" How dumb is that?? Sorry, had to vent a little bit :)
I'm trying harder, but it's a hairy and complicated problem and only scratches the surface of my issues. at any rate, you make a valid point. I appreciate your insight.
* You make valid points too! Everyone suffers. And in different ways. It is just that we deal with it differently. And you've come so far! There is a noticable change in your posts since you first started here, and for that you hsould be proud. Just because MTV or Oprah shows visions of what is "normal" doesn't mean that is so. Anyway, take a look in any entertainment magazine. Look at some of the trouble that quite a few celebrities are dealing with currently. I mean, they look like they have it together too. But, looks can be deceiving!
poster:Karen_kay
thread:296586
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031229/msgs/296935.html