Posted by thewriteone on November 11, 2003, at 11:22:05
I have PTSD and I don't even know what else. I've been in therapy for two years now. It takes a lot for me to build up trust in anyone and it hasn't been any different with my therapist. Recently I felt that I was there in a lot of ways. I like her a lot and I thought it was working out okay. There have been some minor issues, but nothing too major.
I went in for my session this week and immediately felt as though I wasn't welcomed. I began talking about something that happened earlier in the week, and she cut me off--not once, but twice. So I sat back and didn't say anything. Then she asked me if I was ready to terminate the relationship. It felt like someone ripped my heart out of my chest. I was so stunned that I couldn't say anything. Tears just started streaming down my face and she demanded that I talk to her about it. She said that she thought I got the wrong idea--that she was asking me what I wanted to do, not trying to terminate the relationship herself. She reminded me that a couple months ago I mentioned that I was worried that I wouldn't be able to see her anymore because I was house-hunting and would probably have to move more than an hour away. At that time she told me that when the time came, we could discuss ways that we could still work together. It didn't seem like she was interested in that now. I can't even believe she would do this to me. I have deep abandonment issues and she knows it. I'm so devastated. I haven't even been able to sleep. Part of me wonders if maybe I shouldn't terminate the relationship. It can't be healthy to be dependent on someone like this, or maybe that's part of the process. I'm not sure I even know what I'm suppose to be doing.
poster:thewriteone
thread:278549
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031031/msgs/278549.html