Posted by kara lynne on September 20, 2003, at 16:27:36
In reply to Re: Just Say No, posted by octopusprime on September 20, 2003, at 12:44:34
Nice to hear from you, and thank you so much for your kind wishes. Yes, I'm going to try and hang in, but I could have slept all day again and I'm a little worried about being awake next weekend for my class. Plus, as long as I'm going to be asleep I should at least have the benefit of fallsfall singing me lullabyes.
All signs point to a Dead End in my relationship; I doubt therapy will change that. Even now he is being so inconsistent about following through. He's demonstrating exactly why I was so frustrated in the relationship. But on the other hand he initially said ok, let's make an appt. and I was the one who said I'd have to find someone else. From his perspective I guess it seems like I didn't follow through, even though I would expect him to keep trying--to write back and say let's find someone else, how's it going, etc. etc. And he did leave two messages on the phone that I didn't respond to, although I emailed him yesterday---and he didn't respond to that. I'm waffling because I don't know if I should talk to him on the phone first, before we have it set up for a third party to be there. On the other hand I think maybe it would 'break the spell' and maybe it would be easier for me to stay away. Then on the *other* hand (who is the octopus here?) I think he *must* be with someone else, and that is why he's not pursuing this with any great intensity. But that kind of thinking distorts my perspective entirely, and really does torture me. Then on *another* hand, he called me 'honey' on his message to me yesterday and said he was thinking strongly about me.
I think you said it all right here:
"closure and sadness sucks, but being stuck in relationship limbo is an emotional purgatory that will eat your brain and self-esteem."Is there really any more to say?
And yet---I keep saying more. : (
I really appreciate your support.
poster:kara lynne
thread:260066
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030913/msgs/261996.html