Posted by whiterabbit on July 1, 2003, at 15:15:22
In reply to Re: oh wow, this is long » yesac, posted by Penny on June 29, 2003, at 20:42:03
You can't expect other people to understand if they haven't gone through such a dreadful experience themselves. Although they mean well with their advice, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. I would stop trying to explain your condition to these people, who truly believe that you can be helped with mindless platitudes...
the "chin up, it can't be that bad" type stuff.
You don't have to sever your relationship with them, but neither do you have to discuss your mental condition and the medical treatment you're recieving for it. Save that conversation for people who are dealing with or have suffered from serious depression and mood disorders. You might be able to find a local nami chapter (formally, the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) by going to their website at www.nami.org - it's a great source of information and support.Your grandmother's attitude is a little mystifying when you consider that your grandfather killed himself. She of all people should know the devestating effects of serious depression...and incidentally, his suicide is a large red flag if this man was your biological grandfather. It points to a genetic connection that may be responsible for your own condition, which means that a)your depression has a biological source, meaning your brain chemistry is abnormal and b)you can and will respond to the proper psychiatric medications.
The most difficult part is the medication trials -
this is a real test of endurance. First your condition must be properly diagnosed, and then you and your psychiatrist must find the best medication (usually a combination) at the best dosage for your specific chemistry. Since most psych meds are not fast-acting, this trial period takes FOREVER and often you must deal with a host of side effects along the way. But I am here to tell you that once you've finally found the right medication for you, it's more than worth the terrible journey. Like most precious things, recovery is not easy - but it is within reach.Forgive your grandmother if you can. She grew up in another age, even if she's not elderly - most of these psychiatric medications were developed
fairly recently. Possibly your grandmother had to deal with some hard times, and it is true that what doesn't kill us will make us stronger. However, she's probably under the impression that your depression is a result of your external circumstances, when your grandmother is thinking that you really don't know how easy you have it.Unfortunately, severe depression is not usually the result of our personal circumstances, and many people don't understand that. While there certainly is a thing such as depression brought on by tragic events, this type of depression is a normal reaction and part of the process of grieving. This is not the same as being terribly depressed simply because you woke up alive that morning. This form of depression is much less understood and more lethal.
So there is your answer to why?? If you like, you can pass out copies of "Darkness Visible" by William...Styron, I believe. This award-winning author (he wrote "Sophie's Choice", among other
bestsellers) was brought down by his first serious depression fairly late in life, and came close to suicide before he began to recover. He describes the dark and hopeless world of depression better than anyone else I've read, and the book is not long.My aren't I the chatty one! Penny, you are headed in the right direction. Don't let ANYONE talk you out of taking your medication. I know for a fact, an absolute fact, that I would be dead without medication - and no amount of therapy or prayer or chicken-soup-for-the-soul type advice would have saved me...I was much too far gone for any of that, racing at top speed towards self-destruction. Medication brought me back.
-Gracie
poster:whiterabbit
thread:237746
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030626/msgs/238511.html