Posted by Penny on June 28, 2003, at 21:15:35
In reply to Re: WHY???????? » Penny, posted by Dinah on June 28, 2003, at 19:49:39
> If you can't deal with them, don't. Chances are they'll never understand and you'll just hurt your head banging on that brick wall.
>
> My mom (and dad actually) is like that. And I just draw lines in the sand. If you want to discuss that, I'll have to leave (hang up, whatever). Then I do it. I've found that they love me enough and want to maintain contact enough that they'll respect it, even if they do complain about me to each other and everyone else behind my back.
>
> I guess it's harder with a grandma.I have told them, especially recently, that I don't want to talk about it. That I have a therapist and a pdoc and I will talk to them, and if I want to talk to anyone else, I'll let you know. But right now, I don't want to talk to my family or my roommate. But, they just don't give up. Or, should I say, my roommate and my grandmother don't give up.
I guess it doesn't really surprise me that my grandma sent me that letter, but it still really frustrates me. Because now I don't even want to call her. And she just turned 75 and we've always been really close, but she doesn't get it. I know she's been through a lot, including my grandfather's suicide 2 years ago, but how she deals with things (and how my roommate deals with things) and how I deal with things are completely different. They don't understand why I can't just either (A) pray about it and let God handle it or (B) 'try harder' to overcome the depression. As though I'm sitting around letting it suck me in!!!! They don't understand the effort it takes for me to get out of bed every day, to go to work, to take a shower and get dressed and look presentable, to take my dogs outside and for a walk...all these things I'm doing that constitute 'functioning' - they don't understand that just functioning is a feat in and of itself!!!
Of course, I'm preaching to the choir here. You know what I mean.
I just have to put up my shield when I talk to them, make certain topics off limits, tell them what they want to hear and try to change the subject. Can't let this get to me..... >:-(
Thanks, Dinah.
P
poster:Penny
thread:237746
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030626/msgs/237798.html