Posted by kalyb on June 13, 2003, at 9:20:20
In reply to Re: An alien on my own planet, posted by daizy on June 12, 2003, at 17:55:26
> Thats a classic, Ive heard that one recently myself!
It is, isn't it? But it's partly true. It's just as hard for me to understand what it's like to be "normal", as it is for them to empathise with my current state, I guess.
>I suppose when you feel bad its hard to have a positive outlook and actually appreciate the good things, like being with people who care about you, and have your best interests at heart?
I think she does have my best interests at heart although this arrangement here is definitely for her benefit too - she needs my rent money and my help. I wish I was more reliable, but I'm not the right person for the "job".
> Its hard for people who havnt been depressed to know what it feels like, well its almost impossible. They dont know that little things, like getting up in the morning are Big things for us, they see it as laziness and self pitty. Maybe you could have a talk with them and tell them how you feel exactly? Well good luck with things anyway!
I've tried to talk to her about it, but because she has a brother who suffers from depression, she thinks she knows it all. She doesn't yet know (neither do I really) that my problems are likely a lot greater than mere depression. It would not suprise me to discover I am bipolar and have OCD as well. I know she has no clue what those conditions are. I mentioned to her sometime ago that I wonder if I am bipolar, and she didn't know what the word meant.
From reading this forum, I am suspecting I may be bipolar and OCD. It's becoming clear to me that my father is bipolar, and my mother has always suffered from anxiety (very much like my own) with a measure of OCD too, I think.
I've left a leaflet in the living room about Depression, whether it will help or not, I don't know; it could even make her angry that I've done that. At least the leaflet has a section on how friends and family should treat someone with depression.
Her partner isn't helping a lot - if she lacks compassion, then he is very rigid in his viewpoints, worse than her. He sees everything in black and white. Her little outburst and our chat the other day arose from him being unable to understand me, and moaning at her about me. But talking to him wouldn't work.
And it's stresful to be in this situation, I am longing for my own little space where I could curl up in a ball and just sleep for weeks if I choose to. I wouldn't, probably.... I lived for 5 years on my own before coming here, and getting out every day just to buy something nice for supper was a little daily pleasure. I love food and enjoy cooking, but I can't here because there are no food shops and I have no transport. Plus this family I'm living with have very strong food preferences, and I'm criticized for liking what I like..... Go figure!!
Kalyb xx
poster:kalyb
thread:233461
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/233653.html