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Don't be me

Posted by whiterabbit on May 31, 2003, at 1:07:30

In reply to Lips moving, nothing coming out..., posted by kara lynne on May 30, 2003, at 13:00:18

Your questions/restlessness/dissatisfaction are healthy and right. They aren't an indication of any failing on your part, only that you are a square peg wondering if you wish to conform enough to fit into this round hole, or the situation you're faced with.

My advice to you is this: run away. If you do decide to "settle" by telling yourself - I'll make this work, things will work out, he'll change or I'll change...it's not right, it's just not meant to be. Cut your losses this minute while you are still young.

At this point in my tormented life, I feel as if I've been sleeping with the enemy for the last 20 years. I tried very hard to please my husband, and I believe he honestly doesn't understand that.
I was always screwing it up, I could never get anything right. Not only didn't he appreciate the time or effort or thought or money devoted to a gesture or gift, he would complain about it and make fun of me.

He would never wear his wedding ring. He would go out with his friends and come home when he felt like it, midnight or dawn. If I asked him not to do something, he would do it twice as much just to show me who was in charge.

I always thought it was me, there was something wrong with me and I needed to try harder.

For the first time in our 20 years together, I'm sick and jobless and broke. So now he can't stand me, he wants a divorce. I've made his life hell and he wants out, he "deserves a chance to be happy."

You do the math.
-Gracie


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