Posted by paxvox on May 21, 2003, at 20:09:52
In reply to Thanks Dinah- you made me feel better! (nm), posted by babs on May 21, 2003, at 18:57:34
Anyway, Babs, I had to read your post out of personal interest. I know what it is like to be OCD from my own experience, so I can see what you mean. Prehaps the question that troubles me is, why you haven't gotten married to this boyfriend of 5+ years? Is there some factor you did not mention that would be relevant to know? Please don't say it's because you are waiting until you are "better". As to your sexual experinces, I can proffer a "male" point of view. Men masturbate all the time, even when they have other sources for "release". It's just a man thing. So, I see no problem with you finding pleasure with your "toys", and NO, they don't mean anything about your relationship with your fella, except, perhaps, you don't communicate to him what feels good to you ( to achieve climax). That is not an uncommon problem with couples, especially because there remains a stigma that a woman who says what she wants somehow crosses into the aggressive (i.e. "male") role. That is hoo hah! It's just a holdover from the Victorian era. So, tell your man what you want him to do, it may even be more arousing to both of you, and it will clearly increase your intimacy level, because it implies trust in your partner. Hope this helps.
PAX
poster:paxvox
thread:228158
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030517/msgs/228199.html