Posted by paxvox on April 25, 2003, at 21:25:42
In reply to Re: And now for something completely different....... » paxvox, posted by leeran on April 25, 2003, at 18:24:59
Oh, my, that sounds like my life in rewind, or you must see my life as some sort of flashback. Oh God help us both. I printed out what you wrote. It emotes such deep-set feelings that it brought me to tears. I may well decide to let my wife see it "by accident" though I'm not sure what effect that would have (If I DID do that, I would, of course, santitize it from any personal connection to you). It took a lot of strength and fortitude for you to make that post. The sad truth is that we ALL have one like that inside us. We are, alas, afraid to let others see it because it makes them think (in our eyes only perhaps) that we are "really messed up". In reality, it IS reality for too many of us. That is what this board COULD be, and for ephemeral periods actually is. I'm sorry for your suffering that I know you still carry. Perhaps you can use this experience as a catharsis to finally remove the demons of your past. I can clearly use it too see that I am not alone, I have commrads. We all walk around in shadows with smiley faces plastered on for the world to see. We only show ourselves when there is no fear of rejection (rare). As we pass each other in the halls at work, in the fellowship hall at church, as stangers on the street we nod and smile that plastic smile. All is well, all is well.....when we really are feeling all is hell.With whom can we share our inner-most fears, our hopes our dreams? I ask you how you are, and you say "I'm fine".Do I really WANT to know how you are? Do you really WANT to tell me? Oh, the pain, the suffering the wasted hated days that spawn weeks of years. Where does it end? Why didn't we stop it? Could we? Thank you, Lee for opening yourself up to me. I'm sorry for the refreshed wounds, but again I hope this may be a way for YOU to at least find closure, and for me, perhaps, to find courage.
Be well.
PAX
poster:paxvox
thread:221860
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030421/msgs/222443.html