Posted by Dinah on April 14, 2003, at 21:19:12
In reply to Lonely, posted by Miller on April 13, 2003, at 1:47:00
Hey, Miller. Are you so certain he has no commitment left to the marriage? I remember the other day you spoke about how nice he was being.
If there is no commitment left on his part, I don't suppose there is much you can do about it, but things don't have to go as badly as that. Marriages can be renewed.
My husband is a very compulsive perfectionist type. Between his anger and perfectionism and my distancing myself, our marriage is sometimes nothing but commitment. But I think he is making a real effort to change, lately. And it's amazing how little it takes on his part for me to remember what it was that I loved about him to begin with. We've been laughing and teasing and enjoying ourselves.
It's still not perfect. Hints of anger or rigidity from him cause me to overreact based on years of the same. And he overreacts when I'm not really here, based on years of my doing the same.
But it really is better. Sometimes it really is astonishing what can happen when one or the other in a relationship makes some changes to treat the other "as if".
poster:Dinah
thread:218948
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030414/msgs/219408.html