Posted by bozeman on February 8, 2003, at 0:12:54
In reply to boxing it all up » lostsailor, posted by Alii on February 7, 2003, at 2:10:34
> I'll probably have a pang of regret at some point in the future but for now I have all his written words from over the six years in a box and I will be placing this box within another box of his stuff he's coming by to get this weekend.
>Alii -- Not I , but some wise person said, (Kalhil Gibran, maybe??) Time moves not backward, nor tarries with yesterday.
If giving them back to him is what you are moved to do, then it's the thing for you to do.>
> He'll then have his words to do with as he pleases. The love letters. The cards. The letters of frustration. And that final crappy poorly written piece of crud that the coward pawned off on me two weeks ago.
>
> He can choose what he wants to do with HIS written words.
>
> ~Alii
>
> P.S. Right now the only thing keeping me going is knowing ma will be here in five days. She's flying in to help me sort out this "snowglobe" time where I can't even see straight to figure out what's next. I've set simple goals and have enough basic shit to keep me busy through the week but I am from an area where my peers are at very different places than where I'm at. I fight hard not to compare but when I can barely even afford to purchase my medication each month I tend to wonder just how the hell I'm ever supposed to make do on this planet. I wake up each day convinced that I do not belong. Such distortion to fight all the time. It is exhausting.
>Alii -- Exhausting isn't even the word to describe what you're dealing with now. I am so sorry you are going through this. You are clearly such a beautiful and sensitive soul, and feel things so deeply. You are right that most people on this planet don't allow themselves to feel in that way. However -- I can't help but think that it takes people like you to add emotional dimension, to balance their shallow existence in an encompassing spiritual sense. You are special and lovely in your soul self, don't ever believe otherwise. You deserve so much more than he could ever give you from his present level of awareness.
I hope you find a peace and strength to sustain you through this difficult time, and when you are perhaps once again ready to entertain it, a love to match the depth of your ability to stretch love from the human self, to the breadth of the universe itself.
Wishing you peace in this time of turmoil --
bozeman
poster:bozeman
thread:36150
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030201/msgs/36637.html