Posted by Susang on January 20, 2003, at 12:16:56
In reply to Re: Fear of Meds had screwed up my Son's life. (Long) » Essence, posted by Dinah on January 20, 2003, at 9:17:56
> Essence, parenting is the toughest job around. Whenever something happens with our kids we're bound to blame ourselves. If you had put him on medications and things hadn't turned out right, you would have blamed yourself for that too. It's a natural reaction, I think.
>
> It sounds as if you did what you thought was best for him. It's not as if you ignored the problem. You learned behavioral techniquest that worked for you. You brought him to see experts. You did what you thought was best for him. Parenting is full of decisions. You make the best one you can based on the information at the time. You aren't responsible for screwing up your son's life, except in the way that we all screw up our kids' lives.
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> Middle school is a difficult time for a lot of kids, and there is no way of knowing what sort of external pressures and hormonal changes were involved in his difficulties at that time.
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> Now, as Noa said is the time to look at your options now, based on what you know now. Medications, if your son will take them and if a doctor finds them appropriate, therapy, if your son will attend. Family therapy, maybe, because this has got to be difficult for all of you.
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> As hard as it is for any of us to do, don't blame yourself for the past. Just get some professional help to assess the current situation and determine the appropriate strategy.
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> My heart goes out to you and your son, and your whole family.
>
> Dinah
I agree entirely with Dinah's post. I would just like to add that you may want to work closely with his school counselor and the school system in regards to options and accomodations for your son. I know that the role of a counselor varies from school to school but I would think your son's counselor could be a good resource and liason for you. It sounds like your son doesn't qualify for special education but working closely with his teachers and counselor (administrators too, if he is getting into trouble there) to develop a 504 plan can help him be more successful in school. Of course this is just one suggestion to add to the options of therapy, medication, etc.You might also check into any Youth At Risk programs available in your area. Where I live, the program is offered through the juvenile court system for youth who are not yet in trouble with the law but seem to be headed in that direction. Sounds scary, but the program here has provided some support to grateful parents while helping teenagers get their lives turned around.
It sounds like you are a very caring and concerned mom. Good luck to you and your son.
Susan
poster:Susang
thread:35557
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030120/msgs/35564.html