Posted by kath on December 17, 2002, at 20:18:18
In reply to Tina - please let me explain., posted by NikkiT2 on December 13, 2002, at 10:33:57
Hi Nikki - luv you muchly hunny. I hope you're doing better each & every day. I send you luv & you're in my thoughts.
Hope you're taking especially good care of your self.
MUCH LOVE, Kath
Unless you text message me, this is obviously not about you.
>
> I ahve left ASH for personal reasons I do NOT want to go into here... Strangely enough, I am having a very har dtime at the moment and have left ALL my yahoo groups for a while. I need time for Nikki and was having a hard time at another group, and took the decision to leave them all over christmas.
> I have also pulled back from my real time friends too.
>
> Maybe I am a bad friend. thats how I feel at the moment, and thats what this was about.
>
> This is about ME and MY feelings, not you. I am having to distance myself from suicidal people, yes, because I am so close to the edge myself right now I simply can't talk about it to others.
>
> I'm not seeing things clearly, I know that, which is why I ahve pulled away from everyone. I don't want to have to hold personal conversations as people are making me angry, for no reason other than my head state, and I hate being angry toward people.
>
> OK, I accept I worded this all wrong, and maybe should ahve found some other site to post it, but I hav ebeen here a long time now, and felt I could come here for some support when needed without massive feelings of guilt.
>
> The friend is now in hospital after someone else called the services in her area. I hope she is getting the help she needs.
>
> I desperately, desperately, don't want to lose ANY friends.. especially you... so I thought distancing myself would be best for all concerned.
>
> I recived a christmas card from you this mroning. It was incredibly special and made me cry for the way we both feel right now.
>
> Tina. You nkow I don't say I love you easily, but I do love you... and I will be there for you in a million ways as soon as I can.
> I have gone back on mediaction (only 2 days into it though) and hope to be more calm and stuff very soon.
>
> I ahven't maile dyou as you asked, at ASH, for none of us to do that. maybe I hsould have ignored you, but I was trying to follow your wishes - ever hopeful you will get through this time.
>
> Please wait for me to get past this... please...
>
> Nikki xxxxxx
poster:kath
thread:33265
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021206/msgs/33510.html