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Re: I don't know how old your kids are...

Posted by lawrence s. on October 1, 2002, at 23:32:43

In reply to Re: I don't know how old your kids are... » lawrence s., posted by NikkiT2 on October 1, 2002, at 8:54:22

> Lawrence,
>
> I don't have any advice as I have luckily had little to do with alcoholics... my brother was one for a while, but I live 300 miles away so wasn't affceted by it.
>
> I just wanted to tell you you ar ein my thoughts. It must be awful having to live like htis, and your phrase about being scared to get too close to your kids really bought tears to my eyes.
>
> You must be a very special man to want to give your kids a safer and better life. never forget you're a good person.
>
> I hope you find some help. I echo the suggestion of al anon... not everyone there will have stuck with their alcoholic partner and I'm sure you could get some great advice there.
>
> I'm sure there must be a Yahoo group or similar that deals with this and you may be able to get more advice there.
>
> Good luck
>
> Nikki

Thank you all for your thoughts and kind words. I did by the way go to al-anon yesterday for the first time.

I did however let her drive off drunk again with the kids. If I tried to stop her it would have caused a fight (verbal) and my son would have been upset. It seems like she is a funtional drunk, meaning that she can do housework, help the kids with homework and throw a party, drive and not be hung over.

I have called the police numerous times. One time 3 squad cars were parked in my driveway when she pulled up. About 5 uniformed deputies saw her get out of her car with my kids in the backseat. Beer was literally falling out of the car door. empty cans in the car. she stumbled slightly as she approached the uniforms.

They gave her a sobriety test. She passed! She then sat down and talked with them. They were talking and laughing for about fifteen minutes. It turned out that she knew some of them.

As I watched from the house 2 Racine WI co. sherriffs deputies came to my back door, handcuffed me and put me in the back of the squad. Leaving my 2 boys in the house unsupervised, scared out of their minds. My wife was shocked and angry with what she saw. From the squad I saw my wife give the officers some money. They talked and joked 15 minutes more, let me free and left. I asked my wife what was the money for. She said it was another unpaid ticket.

I have no criminal record whatsoever. Except for traffic tickets. You are probably wondering if I'm dillusional, or just plain B.S.ing. Maybe I am because I can't believe it myself. Unfortunately, my 17 year old son witnessed the whole thing and reminds me from time to time.

I once belived that the court would not let a dangerous Mom have custody of the kids. Man, was I very, very, wrong. A Mom would have to be guilty of murder to not get custody.

My first marriage was with an undiagnosed bipolar. She tried countless times to cut her wrists in front of me and my son. Of course I stopped her with much wrestling. She tried to kill my son in his bed. I had to pin her down while dialing the phone to call the police. She left my son home alone and would drive off across town (he was about 3). Then call me up and tell me what she did. My first reaction: dibeleif, then all I wanted to do was get to my son. When I found out she really had done it, I had deep feelings of guilt for having impregnating such a monster! I honestly was affraid to call the Milwaukee Police for fear that they would lock me up for marrying such a wacko!

I could go on and on about her countless tirades. Anyway the big shocker is that she was given custody by our court system! I then tried to fight, taking her back to court. We all underwent extensive psychological evaluation. The conclusion: She was violent, unstable, Manipulative, controlling and other undisirable things like personality disorder. I scored better than her except that I seemed deppressed. Who would'nt be? She still ended up with custody!

Yes, it was quite an awakening. Our wonderful Milwaukee court house! She, by the way went on to get her masters degree and is now in a top management position in a nearby hospital dealing with psychiatric and detoxification patients.

Don't count on the legal system!!!!


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