Posted by Alara on October 1, 2002, at 23:21:20
In reply to Alcoholic wife is making my life miserable., posted by lawrence s. on September 30, 2002, at 5:36:28
Lawrence, please sit your wife down WHEN SHE IS SOBER and have a good, honest talk to her about how her drinking is affecting your family life. Although you are hurting, you must let her know that you are on her side. Be firm but not judgemental. Let her know that you care.
If you are no longer able to love your wife (or your wife does not care enough about her family to respond to your request) , then maybe it's time to move on with the kids. I'm not sure about how difficult it will be for you to obtain custody of your children, but this may be an option that you want to consider. Your happiness and the children's safety are at stake!
Lawrence, alcoholics are not bad people, but some of them are so sick that it is difficult to reach them. I am truly, truly sorry if this is the case with your wife. If her illness has progressed to this point, she may to go into detox and rehab so that she can learn to cope with life again without alcohol in her system.
Not everybody has to become a chronic alcoholic or hit bottom in order to recover. I have battled my own problems with alcohol and decided to address these problems before they got too out of hand. If you want to talk, feel free to email me via Dr Bob. (Dr Bob, I hope this is OK! If not, I will set up another email address.) Your wife can get better if she chooses to do so.
Your wife will need some kind of support. If she doesn't like AA, there are other organisations around (such as Smart Recovery) that offer peer support. Alternatively, I can introduce her to a newsgroup community that has helped me immensely. Some of the group's members have been sober for years, while others are still fighting their addictions. The group's moderator is a lovely person who finally quit drinking a few years ago in order to save her marriage and children! It does happen.
Good luck, Lawrence. I know that this is a difficult time for you. :-)
Alara
poster:Alara
thread:30678
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020924/msgs/30717.html