Posted by Susan G on August 27, 2002, at 23:25:26
In reply to Being good = Being cared for, posted by Dinah on August 27, 2002, at 17:49:28
I really agree with IsoM's comments about focusing on the behavior and not the person. I also like to use "natural consequences" since that is often how life works and it takes some of the potentially negative emotion out of the situation.
At the core of it all is unconditional love. Everyone needs to hear how wonderful they are and it means the most when it comes from parents or significant others. Part of that love is a level of trust and honesty. I appreciated the fact that my parents could give me honest feedback about how I might be able to improve, etc., but only after heaping on the praise for the good things. Building self esteem requires feeling competent and masterful even if you are only a young child. Parents who allow their kids to try and to fail without harsh criticism are helping them develop healthy self images. And it has to be real, not hollow praise.
I'll bet you are a most wonderful mother, Dinah, and your son is a lucky boy.
poster:Susan G
thread:29391
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020820/msgs/29408.html