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Boundaries---Katt

Posted by shar on May 6, 2002, at 14:02:28

In reply to Re: Better today » Katt, posted by Lou Pilder on May 6, 2002, at 13:00:34

Katt,
I believe that suicide should have some absolute boundaries that are never violated, no matter how badly one feels.

1. No suicide if there are kids at home (you still need to raise them) or kids still getting on their feet.

2. No suicide unless you are 50.

3. No suicide in the moment of depressive despair.

IMO, the act of suicide, like revenge, is a dish best served up cold. When one is out of the black pit and more lucid, that is the time to ponder the act. It may be that pondering leads to the same conclusion, but it will be grounded in something other than despair.

If you have kids to raise, or kids that still are getting on their feet, can't do it. They need you in a special way that they need nobody else. Only you can be their mom. If your kids are settled in and doing well on their own, then I think it is ok to start pondering.

I think there should be a mark in life when one can say "enough." To me, that mark is 50 years, and I think it should be 50 for everyone. A half century. By that time, one should have a pretty good idea whether or not 50 years is enough.

So, until you meet all 3 conditions, you should agree to not commit suicide. You can always think about it all you want, talk about it here all you want. The difference is in doing vs. not doing.

This is not Pollyanna talking here. I know how horrible it feels. But, suicide should not be undertaken without serious thought and due consideration to minimize its impact on others. There are lots of decisions to be made, and careful planning involved.

Hang in there. I'm so glad you went to chat.
Shar


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