Posted by Penny on March 12, 2002, at 22:12:47
In reply to Re: Torment..., posted by mair on March 12, 2002, at 16:07:50
Mair,
My case is a little different from yours in that the interim therapist is a colleague of my therapist, but they are not in the same practice. I get the feeling that they are friends in some ways, and that kinda freaks me out a little. Not sure what my 'real' therapist had in mind, other than that she was concerned b/c I have been going through this major depression for so long now and she didn't want to leave me hanging for the time she was out. And I respect & appreciate that.
I guess what I'm frustrated about, tho', is that my therapist tells me that my "transference issues" are perfectly normal & that it's all a process and that at some point I will get to a place where I don't "need" her as much. That I will get better...whatever that means. And she's been doing this for 20 years, so I assume she knows what she's talking about. I was worried, and had talked with her about it, that I was 'too dependent' or 'too attached' to her, and she told me that (again) my feelings toward her were perfectly normal and that she was glad that I had learned to trust her, since trust is my biggest issue. And, truly, she's the only person in my life I trust completely.
But the interim therapist, though she says that my transference issues are normal, makes me feel like I should rush to get through this, that this is what's holding me back, etc. etc. So, somewhat conflicting opinions. She said to me in our last meeting that I "didn't want to be in therapy forever." Well, no, I guess not, but I don't want to think right now about ending therapy either! It's just too much to take in with everything else going on!
I understood that she was trying to set a very precise goal for us to work toward in our limited time together, but now I'm thinking that maybe I need to prove to myself that I can survive without weekly therapy & then, maybe, I can go back into therapy with a renewed desire to work on some of this crap I continue to deal with...
Unfortunately, this day has been the day from hell and I'm really really afraid that I'm quickly slipping downhill again. I know this feeling all too well. But I see my pdoc tomorrow, so we'll see what he has to say...
Thanks for your insight!
Penny
poster:Penny
thread:19700
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020305/msgs/19725.html