Posted by mair on March 12, 2002, at 16:07:50
In reply to Re: Torment... » beardedlady, posted by Penny on March 12, 2002, at 14:56:57
Penny
As with most things, I can see 2 sides to this.
Several years ago my pdoc, who was also my therapist, left for several months. At the time, I was also ocassionally seeing a woman therapist in his office, and he insisted that I continue to see her in his absence. I also found out however, that his practice was splintering and that this woman therapist was leaving with several other therapists - the parting was not altogether amicable.
While my pdoc was gone I found myself feeling very equivocal about therapy and I spent alot of time trying to work through some of this with the "substitute" therapist. I think, in retrospect, that I was looking for some validation of all of the work I had done with my pdoc, and she just wasn't giving it to me, either because she didn't understand what I was really trying to talk about, or (my thought) she was just so pissed at this guy over work issues and was letting this cloud her judgment. Rightly or wrongly, I chose the second answer and decided that she was extremely unprofessional.
The upshot was that by the time my pdoc got back I was furious with both of them - her for being so unprofessional, and the both of them for not communicating better with one another overe what was going on with me. Shortly after my pdoc came back I told him I wanted to take a break from therapy. I went back to him later but really just for periodic updates - we never really reestablished a real therapeutic relationship, and I never really cleared the air with him about what really went on.
When you first wrote about this, my inclination was to think that having a contact while your other therapist was gone was a good thing. I'm not sure however that it's good to discuss with a substitute therapist your relationship with a therapist that you know you're going back to.
I felt like I was stuck in the middle and it ended up hurting my relationship with both.
Your situation may be nothing like mine, so I almost hesitate to tell you my story, but I do think that situations like the one you're facing can undermine the relationship you're trying to preserve.
Mair
poster:mair
thread:19700
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020305/msgs/19708.html