Posted by Penny on March 12, 2002, at 12:29:56
(Okay, so I'm not trouble or many of the other poets on PSB...)
Torment. Emotions ravage my soul.
Like a storm-filled sky waiting to burst forth an ocean of pain, sorrow and anger.
Sunshine is hidden by the blackened clouds.
And yet I wait, hoping for a glimpse.
Wondering when it will return, and hoping, next time, it decides to stay a while.
And yet, folks, I'm not sure right now when this is going to end. I wish I could stop this rollercoaster of emotion I'm on!!!I'm counting the days 'til my therapist's return from maternity leave (5 weeks and counting!) and have decided to not see the 'interim' therapist anymore, as I really don't like her style of therapy. Been feeling like she was trying to push me through my attachment issues to my 'real' therapist, but I don't really want to deal with them right now. Is there something really really wrong with feeling a strong connection with your therapist? I mean, it's not as though I don't realize that our relationship has to remain a 'professional' one of sorts...she's the therapist and I'm the client. But she allows me to feel nurtured when I'm with her, which is something I totally didn't have growing up. Therapist #2's opinion is that until I "mourn the loss of my childhood" I'm going to continue my rollercoaster ride. I think there's something to that, but I think there's something physiological involved as well! Am I wrong??? Am I paying my psychiatrist for nothing?
I dunno...just had to get that out there. I'm so tired of this road I'm on and hoping that I'm not heading downhill even more right now. I recently had a few good days, but the depressed state keeps returning. Big surprise.
Penny
poster:Penny
thread:19700
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020305/msgs/19700.html