Posted by dreamer on January 20, 2002, at 9:50:12
In reply to Re: Dreamer...are YOU alright???, posted by kiddo on January 19, 2002, at 20:06:44
> Now I'm concerned for you...are you alright? you aren't sounding like yourself. Are you still seeing things and on your own? I'm sorry you are going through this and wish there was something I could do to help; if I can, please let me know.
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> Thinking of you-
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> Kiddo
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> > > Where are you when I need you-I need your input :-(
> >
> > sorry..kiddo...im ashamed paranoid scared and keep seeing things im afraid of myself frightend and on my own.
> > not in control of what im writing.doing> >
> > i hold no comforting memories and now that i am mentall y ill cannot or unable to create new ones.
I've lost all friends that were few anyway my brother has disowned me because of my illness.The rest of family can go to hell for what they did
i find no interest in life career or love, creating family
My future i see as being as drugged up as possible so i forget who what i am.and a painfree death.
people really dont care they share to help themselves they may pity shed a tear but only temporarily .a past friend opened up to me just because he was pissed off used my misery for comfort- they use you then shut the door behind unaware -then i mess up others- .and i'm not a ware of it till later. i feel like just piece meat of symptoms for scribbling pencils a statistic for research (thats if your lucky) they can't work me out so where does that leave me how many more wasted years until i cry at my death bed "i'm cured.. i want to live",,so helpless completely alone an outsider and i dont care.only the self can help the self without trust faith and hope all remains is a living death.n
No more cliques text book advice i really dont care for my-self .survival of the fittest and i am weak thanks to nuture and this messy brain. yes i was once a genius at painting and painting alone but my heart is dead the passion has left i'm tired.and i despise the stereotype.and game.
eradidicate all memories then maybe there would be hope....thats impossible.its beyond feeling sorry for myself.i am ashamed of being human .and my behavourwhat happens......i try and find escape wait it out in pain noone can talk help me how many suicides have posted here to seek and not find to be ridiculed and others angry confused at there maddness.
I dont know -the unseen the odd and they know it.I'm trying to keep away because the pc is ....I'm think i'm reading strange stuff subliminal messages and i'm having memory black outs and paranoid,this is the crash after whatever it was.
poster:dreamer
thread:16964
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020112/msgs/17006.html