Posted by kiddo on December 18, 2001, at 21:41:43
In reply to Re: So sad. » robinibor, posted by Dinah on December 17, 2001, at 19:01:58
Hiya-
I'm sorry that you've been having a rough time of it, and wish there was something more I could do. How about some cyberhugs? (((Dinah)))
The paragraph below is perhaps what really bothers me. Do you think he'd really terminate because of what YOU said in this thread? You voiced your feelings. My pdoc thumped me on the head enough until I finally believe that 'my feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are.' (not exactly how he said it) It took a really long time for me to believe that regardless of what I said he wasn't going to terminate me because of it. I pay HIM to be there, listen and help me. If I have a problem now and don't think he's 'doing his job', trust me I tell him. Sometimes with both barrels :-)
If you really believe he'll terminate your therapeutic relationship because of this, then that is a definite problem. However, if it's a fear but not deep down convincing reality, (I'm afraid he will vs. I know he will) then I'd say there's a trust issue you need to discuss with him.
There's no rule written in stone that says you have to trust your therp implicitly (sp?) by a certain time... It took me four years to trust him, and sometimes it's still an issue.
I know exactly what you mean about the insecure attachment. My pdoc would probably tell me I'm the 'poster child' of insecure attachment. When I've had that fear-honest to God thought he'd ditch me, I'd write it down and wait until I was walking out the door and give it to him. I figure it would give me a week to brace myself for 'the end'. It never came..yet anyway :-)
If things are better (I haven't gotten to the end of the thread yet) I'm really happy and if not, I'm hoping you will feel better soon.
As for your son; the only way his Christmas would be ruined is if you weren't alive to share it with him. Regardless of whatever else is going on, HE will accept you unconditionally. Remember that and know you're in my thoughts :-)
Happy Holidays to you and your family!
Kiddo
> I do think I'll print this thread out, but I'm not sure I'll have the nerve to show it to him. I think I am still too attached to chance termination. Are you familiar with the concept of secure and insecure attachment of young children to their moms? I think I am a perfect example of insecure attachment.
> Thank you so much for your concern. The validation I am receiving here is definitely helping with the feelings that I am somehow doing something wrong.
> Have a very merry Christmas.
poster:kiddo
thread:15586
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011216/msgs/15773.html