Posted by Krazy Kat on October 16, 2001, at 9:53:26
In reply to Re: mixed state or lack of discipline? » Krazy Kat , posted by sar on October 14, 2001, at 22:16:21
Sar:
I'm afraid of feeling better, too. But it doesn't have to be like you described. For one thing, when you DO feel better, you'll be shocked at the amount of confidence you gain, confidence to do what you want to in life, not to take some low-paying job or a job you don't want.
Also, although this may seem like a contradiction, you'll have to realize that this "illness" will be with you forever and that you will have to deal with it accordingly. So, now, you're seen as a "drunk" as you stated. Then you'll be seen as a Manic Depressive, or whatever, and you can very rightfully acknowledge the limitations it puts on you. I have finally had to admit that I can't handle the kind of stressful job I used to. So what? I go on and do something else. And I feel better doing it.
Neurontin - Switch to something else if it's not helping - don't wait too long and get frustrated like I did...
Depakote - no hair loss or weight gain at all. I just went through a bad weekend of drinking (well, bad for me). Had too much wine. I don't drink during the week usually, but am still having trouble kicking the weekend habit. It probably doesn't help, but I take Milk Thistle to help my liver. I am going to try to talk to my pdoc about it next time. It has a little to do with some left over anxiety I think, so maybe I need something else in my cocktail.
By all accounts, it is best not to drink on Depakote. I really don't feel like drinking on it most of the time. Certainly the best deterrent I've had. Frankly, I'm sure you shouldn't drink on any of these meds, but many of us do.
Depakote has helped me with a few things:
1. My thoughts don't 'race' as much. My head always felt as if it were going to explode - thoughts going everywhere - very hard to pin down. Also, I had trouble with repetitive thoughts, usually horrible things, and Dep. has helped. I think more linerally now.
2. Mania - I had two hypomanic episodes this summer before my big crash - Depakote actually got me out of my depression almost immediately and has kept the mania at bay.
3. Reason - I can reason things through better.
4. Visions - I was having visions and those have ceased.
5. Depression - has been kept at bay as well. I'm also on 60 mg Prozac but there's controversy re: the need for an AD with Dep. - I'm just too nervous right now to stop it.Basically, with that last depression, I felt like being hospitalized and dying and just insane. Now I just feel a little insane.
A tough cookie, the Texas water... interesting. I don't feel very tough, but thank you for the compliment. When I'm depressed I'm certainly not tough. When manic, yeah, I act pretty tough. In between, I'm in between. :) Texans all seem to somehow be related. Perhaps it Is the water. I'm always comfortable around Texans, even though I'm rather quiet and subdued. New Yorkers are like the Northeastern version, which is why I think I like it so much.
Work - I haven't Really worked for about a year. I was most recently in Electronic Publishing. Did a few projects after we moved out of the city. Now I am contemplating starting my own business that would encompass pet sitting, dog writing, dog and cat goodies - it would be both a local and internet-based biz.
I can't go back to an office. I just hated it.
Well, ya got a Long reply.
I hope this helped.
- K.
poster:Krazy Kat
thread:12411
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011015/msgs/12594.html