Posted by sar on October 14, 2001, at 22:07:23
In reply to Re: mixed state or lack of discipline? Sar, posted by galtin on October 13, 2001, at 7:25:48
> What's normal? And whatever it is, would you want to be it?
i don't know what "normal" is...i've got pretty low standards for "normal"--but it would not involve daily thoughts of suicide. it would involve being a 23 yr-old woman instead of a flaky drifting urchin-girl--holding down an appropriate job, finishing school, finding a home...
> Sounds like you had an awful experience. In past years (and decades) I have been fired from two jobs with the consequence of losing two careers. Although I was aggrieved at the time, it was pointed out to me that employers are under no obligation to tolerate poor job performance. I might have been able to cite a disability. But I was not fired for being disabled--I was fired for not doing my job. At some point or another I needed to accept this in order to get to the point of not getting fired anymore.
i'm really glad you pointed this out...i'm sorry you lost 2 careers, that must have been horrible, babe! your post helped me to remember that i need to learn how to *deal,* i.e., taking a walk or sitting in the restroom for awhile instead of just leaving. i didn't have to leave. i felt i had to leave, but i really didn't.
it was kind of senseless.
> In this thread you have received a number of conjectured diagnoses. I don't know which, if any, are on the mark. But whatever it is, booze don't improve it, but makes it worse. By my drinking a tad more than "normal," I triggered a nearly suicidal depression. Plus,booze never improved the clarity or logic of my thinking but instead guaranteed that I would learn nothing about myself from myself.
yes, drinking is an issue for me. former boozers all have the same wisdom to dispense so i believe it must be true, but i'm riding this wave for a bit...
> Good luck,
hope you are well,