Posted by shelliR on September 27, 2001, at 23:13:43
In reply to Re: My therapist lost a family member in WTC attack » robinibor, posted by Mair on September 27, 2001, at 22:20:05
> >Robin - Don't you think the patient would love to say something but doesn't know what to say? Or is conditioned to feel that she shouldn't intrude on the therapist's personal life? Or feels that she doesn't want it to seem that she's more concerned with how this jeopardizes her therapy? I'm not condoning her silence. I just think there may be reasons for it that go beyond a lack of caring.
>
> Mair
Hi Mair
.
Now it this case, I would agree with you, and would worry about whether Robin's freind is handling her situation well as a therapist. As Mair says, the patient may have a multitude of reasons or not mentioning the therapist's illness;: fear of triggering the therapist, fear of intrustion, or even underneath t the patient may be resentful that the therapist is ill, just like at times small children feel this about a parent because it may interrupt their role to fully engage in childhood.If you friend feels sad about this, then I think she is putting too many expectations on the patient. The patient should not have to be a certain way, for your friend to feel okay. I think her feelings of sadness about this one patient makes me wonder if this is possibly not a good working situation. I can't believe that she could feel this way toward the patient, and not have it affect the therapy in a negative way. I wonder if your friend went back to work too early, and has too many expectations from her patients.
Since she has deacided to work during her treatments, and since this feeling may be getting in the way of the progress of the patient, I think it is the therapist's responsiblity to bring it up,. She might mention that the patient has kept silent about the illness, and ask how her illnesss is affecting her feelings about working with the therapist. If the patient feels an opening in discussing those feelings, then it might be helpful. If the patient does not feel comfortable talking about it, and the therapist is "sad", then I believe it is better to either pospone the therapy until the therapist is well, or talk openly about the option of the patient finding a new therapist, during the therapist's illness.
Aside from civility, it always worries me when therapists "expect" or need something from patients.
Shelli
poster:shelliR
thread:11592
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010927/msgs/11840.html