Posted by Simcha on August 22, 2001, at 8:12:18
In reply to Suicide/Alcoholism Depression » sar, posted by Rosa on August 19, 2001, at 6:08:41
Rosa,
I too am a member of Al-Anon and several other 12-step programs and I suffer from Major Depressive Disorder.
As I got sober I realized that much of my life did get better. Yet, I did not have the joy that other members of the program had. My zest for living just wasn't there. I thought I was defective. I went to more meetings. I did more stepwork.
This past January my depression became particularly unmanageable. I could not sleep at night. I wasn't eating. I slept all day. I could not get the motivation to do anything for myself. I did go to meetings. That's all I did and it got worse. My therapist suggested that I go to the doctor and get meds.
This had been suggested to me over and over. Every time it was brought up I fought it. I was raised in 12-step where "we don't need medication for emotional stability." My therapist who was also in 12-step kept assuring me that my depression was physical and thus a medical problem. I began to see her point. I had tried 10 years of therapy and 5 years of the 12-steps and still depression had me on my back.
One member of my 12-step group gave me a book called, "I Can See Tomorrow." It is written by Patricia Owen and it is published by Hazelden. In it other addicts talk about what it is like to live with depression and what it was like to decide to get treatment. They even talked about the resistence other 12-step members have to those who need medication as part of their treatment. It was very useful for me and it allowed me to go to the doctor to get help.
Once I was on the meds after about a month the depression lifted. I was eating again. My sleep was somewhat normal. I could look for work again. My life became more manageable and worth living again.
Rosa, you are worth all the help you can get. The 12-steps are a very useful spiritual path. It is important to realize that there are fundamentalists in every spiritual movement. If you read 12-step literature it constantly talks about walking the middle path. That means that you take what you like and leave the rest.
For me it meant that I needed to drop my 12-step resistence to getting medical help for my depression. In doing so my life has become manageable and worth living.
I hope you find what you need.
Take Care,
Simcha.
> I had tried to handle my father's death alone for a year when I was invited to attend a 12-Step group. At the time, I was living with an "active" alcoholic, which made it worse. The combination of the two was extremely difficult.
>
> I have attended 12-Step meetings since my father's death. I am also in counseling for depression.
>
> The Serenity Prayer was most helpful in dealing with my father's death.
>
> "God, grant me the serenity,
> To accept the things I cannot change,
> The courage to change the things I can,
> And the wisdom to know the difference."
>
> Here are the websites for Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon for your information.
>
> www.aa.org Alcoholics Anonymous
>
> www.al-anon.alateen.org Al-Anon/Alateen
>
>
> Here is the website for Adult Children of Alcoholics (and dysfunctional families):
>
> www.adultchildren.org Adult Children of Alcoholics
>
> Thanks for your interest.
>
> One day at a time,
>
> Rosa
>
> ----------------------------
>
> > well, coffee and cigs and TV are all pretty lame, entertaining but not good for you--i think you should speak with a professional.
> >
> > i can't imagine how much your father's apparent suicide must have hurt. i can't. but if you've not reconciled it after nearly 20 years, i'd say that you need more meds. therapy.
> >
> > my depression hits when it gets dark, i've got the opposite problem. when the sky turns black i feel driven to drink. i really like the smell and look of morning, but night makes me sad. i don't know why.
> >
> > sar
poster:Simcha
thread:9703
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010817/msgs/10027.html