Posted by AMenz on August 11, 2001, at 0:18:20
In reply to Re: Acute Anxiety about being Alone! mgrueni » AMenz, posted by mgrueni on August 10, 2001, at 16:40:18
AMenz is a contraction of my first and last name.
Like you I have getting too close to people. Again, once upon a time there was a good reason why since I was not stabilized on medication during my teens, I didn't want people to get too close. So I would turn people away, subtly. I think I was right though since mania and irritability are hard on friendships.
I think there is some importance to diagnosis. Specially in the US, where doctors see you for brief periods and are overspecialized. It determines the medication you get to some degree.
I do believe that there is some difference in whether an illness is psychologically based or primarily biochemical, although once there is the onset of the illness, it is true that the psychological and the biochemical form a loop.Your English is pretty good. Where are you from?
> Hi AMenz!
> (what does that name mean?...I am asking just out of curiosity, as we have a german word, which sounds quite similar: "Demenz"
> - means "forgetfulness because of old age");o)
>
> < Thanx for your post. Since you have that same symptom, it is almost a phobic reaction to being alone, I would be interested to know if you have a diagnosis. >
>
> Hmmm, I am not really interested in *diagnosis`* at all. For me, it`s not important, what a name others would give my symptoms. And I do not *have* the same symptom anymore. Ok, at least not often.
>
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> < I keep thinking this is incompatible with bipolar II. >
>
> errm...did I mention that english is not my mother tongue? ;o) I guess, "bipolar disorder" is meant to be something like manic depression, but what is "bipolar II"???
>
> < I don't think this is completely pschological in origin. >
>
> I don`t think, it`s a good idea to try separating physical and psychological that strictly since the one always has to do with the other. I did not know, where to draw the line.
>
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> < Obviously the feeling is one of interpreting being alone as being in some danger, hence the anxiety. It is as if you were unable to survive alone. That sounds to me like a toddler (small child) emotion. >
>
> A toddler emotion? Is it? I think, it`s actually a *human* emotion. It`s true, you can`t survive alone, no-one can (at least not in the long run).
> I would not worry about that too much. It only gets *dangerous*, if the fear of being alone takes control of your whole life, your thoughts, and affects your actions that much.
>
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> < I think part of the problem is for years I had serious social anxiety and this has resulted in my not having a good support network, so the spouse, husband becomes the sole source of emotional support. >
>
> And again, that sounds familiar to me. But maybe for not exactly the same reasons. I think, I unconsciously, sending some *signals* that I don´t want to get involved into serious relationships with others (in *real* life, I mean)I have no problems, getting along with people, i.e. at work, but as soon as it comes to a possibly *deep* friendship....
> I don`t know, what happens then, but I guess, I am scared of getting hurt, disappointed, or whatever. Or, maybe I am just too much an *idealist*, so I can`t deal with *group dynamic* at all.
> So, I don`t have too many friends. Actually there are only 2 persons in my life, who I would call *friend*. Pathetic? ;o)
> No, it doesn`t feel so. I now prefer having only one friend, than hundreds of acquaintances. Well, that doesn`t mean, I do not sometimes fall into self-pity mode, blaming myself for being *different*, comparing myself to others and all. I do. But, I`ve learnt that I am, generally, pleased with my situation. I am *different*? I don`t have as many friends as others might have? Well, then it be so. I don´t really care... I am, who I am. And that it is.
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> < I think though this is fixable >
>
> Oh yes, it is! You will find your own way to fix it, I believe you will. And I think you are doing the right thing, asking here for others experiences and opinions . We all need to explore different viewpoints, getting some *input*. *Filter* out what suits you best and then create your very own *strategy*. :o)
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> Micha
poster:AMenz
thread:9044
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010807/msgs/9199.html