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Re: Acute Anxiety about being Alone! Help please!!

Posted by Rosa on August 9, 2001, at 14:42:33

In reply to Acute Anxiety about being Alone! Help please!!, posted by AMenz on August 9, 2001, at 11:28:51

Hello,

This may or may not apply to your situation. Your message is about relationships and possibly fear of abandonment.

"If you are emotionally honest with yourself, you will allow your feelings to surface. You won't react out of hurt or anger or desperation because reaction in the feelings domain usually means we have lost control of ourselves in an unhealthy way. Those feelings will remain there on the surface and you will give yourself time to think about them." ** (110)

Perfectionism; Rigid Rules, Lifestyle And/or Belief Systems; Inability to Identify or Express Feelings; The Secrets; these are a few of the characteristics of someone from an alcoholic or dysfunctional home.

Some of the major feelings that we struggle with are loneliness, hurt, sadness, fear, anger, shame and guilt.

There is a support group for Adult Children of Alcoholics and dysfunctional families. Our parent organization is ACA < www.adultchildren.org >.

ACA-ACOA E-mail Group

www.groups.yahoo.com/group/aca-acoa

Thank you for allowing me to post this message here.

You are not alone,
Rosa
e-mail: day_lily2001@yahoo.com

** From Adult Children, The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families, Page Number 110, (c) 1947-, 1988 by John Friel, Ph.D., and Linda Friel, M.A.
_________________________

> I have always had acute anxiety about being alone. I don't mean to be alone in the house scares me. This fear gets kicked up by marital and romantic breakups. It is so intense that it's lead me to terrible relationships. I have been in a marriage with another person suffering from an affective disorder, who also seems someone antisocial for 17 years. If I'm honest with myself it is all about avoiding being alone.
>
> We have finally separated, temporarily though, because I can't say to the person leave for good because of the fear of being alone.
>
> I experience it as a severe anxiety (it feels like GAD) coupled with a lot of obsessing about being alone in old age. Etc.
>
> Does anyone else have this problem. It doesn't match my diagnosis BPII and seems more BPD. I have also other symptoms of BPD (doing anything not to be rejected) My doctor is sure I am BPII and diagnosis is correct.
>
> I have searched through archives here and not found discussions on this topic. Does anyone experience this. How does one cope with it. I'm at the point of trying verbal therapy, because my med combo has been fooled around so much I don't think more meds will do it. (Eg SSRI would probably alleviate these symptoms but at higher level of SSRI I have mixed state symptoms on a cyclical basis.)


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