Posted by Wendy B. on July 19, 2001, at 0:49:41
In reply to Re: pysch troubles, posted by sar on July 18, 2001, at 23:37:12
> Dear Yall,
>
> thanks for the quickly wise responses. i appreciated all of it! I am not going to see this woman again--this saddens me, because she had seen me in all sorts of states and at my most extreme, but her mention of a bill 35 minutes into an hour-long session cuts into my heart. How could I pay her bill when I was locked up in the hospital? I wrote an Against Medical Advice Letter, which they rejected. There was no way to pay on the given day.
>
> buzzed, it was easy for me to mutter "bitch" and stalk out. i do not regret it, i think she ought to know that she hurt me. i would not have said that 100% sober, but...
>
> well, i'm going to write a letter apologizing for calling her a bitch and requesting that she not bill me for our last 3 seessions because i found them neither psychoanalytical nor therapeutic.
>
> i agree with not being insulting. i'm not usually like that...but with some alkie in me belly...? ah, i'll call a bitch a bitch freely.
>
> IF she felt like a failure, I feel she should have called me back at the hospital, not brought up financial matters in the middle of our session. She has spiky hair and wears expensive clothes and has dark circles under her eyes. At this moment among many, she disgusts me.
>
> i'll keep my side of the street clean because it's Right. at this point i am so utterly baffled by her lack o concern that i don't know what else to say. i will write her a letter tonight--she deserves an explanation (but don't i?) and I will send it to her.
>
> i'm disappointed. i don't know what my problem is--i don't want a silly coddling therapist, i really respected the scientific value of psychoanalysis, but this woman--well, i don't understand why i made her so angry when she could have done so much more.
>
> is this just miscommunictaion?
>
> sar
Sar:This is called 'Someone in authority letting you down.' Even though it happens all the time, it still stings and hurts. In your state, the onus is on her, SHE has to be the one to communicate well. And yes, you could do with a little coddling right now, scientific psychoanalysis, with its cold exterior, is just an excuse for a lack of empathy and givingness on her part. She should be ashamed of herself... The others' advice on finding a new therapist is important. Social workers and psychologists are fine, you don't need an MD to help people with their psych-problems...
I've been reading your recent posts, and found the one called "Headache" one of the most poignant and sad series of posts I have ever read on this board. I am so, so sorry you got to that bad place, but so glad your parents found you...
And I seriously can't believe what this shrink has done and said. She could have sent you right back to the hospital with her comments about money (when she obviously KNOWS it's a major issue and a hassle for you), and with her getting mad at you for not calling her when you were suicidal... Freakin' jesus! You know the answering machine is on, and you won't get her... what could be more depressing than that? Just what you needed before you proceeded to try to do yourself in... I'm so glad you're still around, the world needs you, I'm positive of that.
Anyway, your anger with her is a good sign, and yes, it sounds very much like they got the bipolar diagnosis right, impulsivity and hypersexuality are classic symptoms. How is the depakote working for you?
I would have called her a bitch, too. Call a spade a spade, as they say. But I suffer from a lack of impulse control, too, so don't listen to me...
Please write back and tell us what happens.
All my best and a large (((hug))...Wendy
poster:Wendy B.
thread:7576
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010717/msgs/7635.html