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pysch troubles

Posted by sar on July 18, 2001, at 0:12:31

I apologize if I've become rather self-absorbed on this board, because at this time I've more questions than I do answers, and more mental chaos than free time--but I would appreciate any advice given/


Today I drove a total of 180 mi (roundtrip) to see my psychoanalyst. I'd called her a few days ago from the psychiatric ward of a hospital and explained my situation to her, and all she'd said was, "It sounds like we have a lot of issues to discuss at our next appointment." It really felt like a business call to me.

So today I walk into her office with 96 oz beer in my stomach--not drunk, but I nearly always go see her that way. She told me she was angry with me, angry that I'd tried to kill myself without calling her, angry that I'd shown up to the appointment "under the influence"--and then, 35 minutes into the session, reminded me that my June payment was due on the 15th of this month (2 days late).

After spending nearly a week on a pysch ward, I felt she should have switched, just for once, from her scientific Psychoanalyst persona into a Coddler, but instead she's tellng me that she's angry with me, that I seem to "instill anger in people," and that I owe her hundreds of dollars?

I called her a bitch and walked out.

What should I do? This woman has treated me for a total of 6 or 7 months and I feel completely betrayed. I don't have insurance, so paying over $100 per session is a big deal to me. I can't figure out who's in the wrong--perhaps we both are? She insinuated that I should have called her when I was feeling suicidal, but when you are *that* suicidal you simply don't give a shit, and I knew I'd get her answering machine and it'd take her at least a day to get back to me so what difference did it make?

I owe her for 3 appointments. Should I even pay her? I feel that she's harmed me more than helped me.

thanks,
sar


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poster:sar thread:7576
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