Posted by Rach on February 19, 2001, at 16:50:31
In reply to Re: kvst, posted by Noa on February 19, 2001, at 14:13:14
> Rach, why the urges, do you think?
>
> I am glad you have the response ready--I don't want to do this, etc. But I do worry about how close you come to the temptation. What kind of help are you getting? Why do you think there is this being drawn to the edge?
>
> Glad you told us. I really do hope you have a safety plan, though, and people to help keep you safe, people you can call to be with if the urge gets strong. Hopefully it wont.Hi Noa -
I'm wondering if my hormones are wreaking havoc on me at the moment. I've been on the contraceptive pill for about 5 years now. This month I went off it because I was having some probs with it. So for the first time in 5yrs my hormones are doing whatever the hell they feel like doing - instead of the regular hormone doses from the pill. Could this be part of the urges? The other thing is that I didn't turn up to school or work for a day - I was running away from the responsibility of that. I never wanted to die. I wanted to be released from my responsibilities and gain sympathy from people. I wanted whatever I was going to attempt to seem like an accident. I wanted to hurt myself, but I did not want to die. I was trying to escape the problems that I have.Thankfully, I have some close friends to help me out. One girlfriend attemped suicide a couple of years ago - so she completely understands. I am so fortunate to have people who accept that I sometimes need their help and compassion, and who know and understand about the depression I have.
I am extremely lucky. I do love my life.
poster:Rach
thread:4741
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010209/msgs/4769.html