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Re: Depression poisoned my marriage, need help » Ant-Rock

Posted by shellie on January 16, 2001, at 21:12:44

In reply to Re: Depression poisoned my marriage, need help » NikkiT2, posted by Ant-Rock on January 16, 2001, at 20:35:38

Anthony, I'm so sorry this happened. You have tried really hard to beat this depression. It seems like maybe your wife is acting cold and distant because she loves you very much and this is the only way she can separate herself from you. I don't see the six months as pessimistic as you do. First of all, it sounds arbitrary and she may not hold to it. Second, she is not saying goodbye for ever. It may be that she needs a little time to sort out her feelings. I think cognitive therapy is a good idea. Sort of proceeding with life as far as you are capable within the depression.

Perhaps write her a letter saying that your marriage deserves a try at counseling. It is not YOUR fault. You didn't create the situation where you were her whole social connection. That comes from her, and perhaps if she can own this, she may be able to see that the deep problems she perceives in the relationship had to do with both of you. But of course I may be being too optimistic; I don't know.

I hope I have not overstepped my bounds here. Maybe I should just have told you how sorry I am, which is true, without giving suggestions. Suggestions may be the last thing you need now. I know you must need hugs, so I offer lots online, and hope you get many from your family.

Shellie


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