Posted by Racer on January 7, 2001, at 17:20:01
In reply to Need to bend an ear.....anybody have one available, posted by tdaneen on January 7, 2001, at 14:10:50
Nothing like upping the ante, eh?
Here's my advice: remind yourself of the reality: your husband has had the kids regularly. That's the only thing you need to show. Don't worry about anything else, and don't allow him to draw you into anything more.
Make a nice little calendar in a spreadsheet program, print copies of it for your side, your husband and his lawyer, the judge and the court clerk. Hand them out as soon as the issue comes up. Your only job in that court room is to show that you've allowed your soon-to-be-ex reasonable visitation. Beyond that, sit still.
What's that old line: "Better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt?" Make your s-t-b-e do as much talking as possible. Respond to as little as possible.
The added value to that is that the more vindictive he seems to the court, the more likely you are to receive everything you ask for in terms of temporary support.
As for the 'real' issue here: You poor thing! It's hard enough having to go through both a divorce and a depressive episode, but to go through both at once, and have someone you used to care about so much use your pain against you this way is so awful! Just the fact that you're getting out of bed in the morning is amazing from my point of view. That's exactly the recipe for making me hide under the bed and cry. Give yourself full points for strength and resilience, and remember the wisdom of Scarlett O'Hara: "Tomorrow is another day"
OK, I love GWTW, but it is good advice: if you can't deal with everything coming at you now, deal with one part to get you through today and forget the rest until tomorrow, when you deal with another piece. Hard to do, but great if you can...
poster:Racer
thread:3759
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010105/msgs/3765.html